What sort of unholy, Faustian bargain has Jeff Goldblum made with the underworld to allow him to age so well? Does he have a ghastly portrait of himself tucked behind his piano somewhere? No one who saw a twitchy, young Goldblum blabbering about rationalizations in The Big Chill would've said that 30 years later, the guy would age into such a stunning specimen that people would literally erect statues in his honor, and yet, here we are.
Is there anything the man can't do at this point? He acts, he sings with Biz Markie, he sells sausages in Australia, he wears Balenciaga "dad shoes." And now, it looks like one innovative store has stumbled across one more thing that the man excels at: selling picture frames.
Twitter user @Simonreah was in a thrift shop last week when he discovered that someone had filled every used picture frame for sale with photos of Goldblum himself—and it is a glorious sight to behold.
According to Simon's photos, the frames are on sale for $3 each, which seems like a stellar deal, since they come pre-loaded with blessed images. Why cover your mantle with regular-ass pictures of your friends or your niece's middle school graduation or whatever when you could fill your home with something truly exceptional, like a series of Jeff Goldblums grinning and seductively touching his face in various ways?
Simon, recognizing a deal when he saw one, apparently pounced.
The takeaway here is abundantly clear: Put Jeff Goldblum in every stock photo ever, please. And give whatever genius employee who thought this up a raise immediately.
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