Two thieves in full nun getups stormed a bank in Pennsylvania on Monday, bungling an armed robbery that went down like some kind of low-budget reenactment of The Town, local Fox affiliate WTFX reports.
Police in Pocono Township, Pennsylvania, have teamed up with the FBI to hunt for the two suspects, who authorities say probably don't actually dorm in a convent or live out a chaste and pious existence. They're now searching for two Hispanic women who they believe disguised themselves for the crime, and who could still be armed and dangerous.
Cops say the robed thieves—dressed to the nines in black habits, veils, and white wimples—rushed a Citizen's United bank in Pocono a little after noon on Monday. As one wannabe nun in dark sunglasses guarded the door, the other pulled out a handgun and waved it at the teller, asking her to hand over the loot behind the counter. According to WNEP, the Sisters got spooked after the cashier tripped an alarm, and the two fled the bank without snagging any cash.
The botched robbery in Pennsylvania is certainly not the first time a band of crooks has tried to disguise themselves as religious women in order to pull off a brutal bank heist. Back in 2011, two robbers stormed a bank in Chicago wearing nun's garb and weird, rubbery masks that look a whole lot like the ones Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner donned in their Boston heist film. A year later, a band of thieves got the idea to invest in some Hollywood-quality disguises for a robbery in New York, leading authorities to play footage from the same film during their trial.
There are innumerable flawed ways folks have tried to make a quick buck in a bank robbery, none of which—as Monday's heist showed—tend to go down smoothly. While trying to smash an ATM using a stolen backhoe or a blowtorch might sound foolproof, if you really want to pull of a heist, steer clear of the heavy machinery and try using a vibrator or something.
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