FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Sports

Soccer Deflategate? James Rodriguez Picks Up the Ball Mid-Play to Test Its Softness

A window into pure genius.

Now I know what you're going to say here. "What a moron," "why did he do that?" "what an ego maniac." Now, now. Don't you go launching into some kind of soccer deflategate controversy on me.

Seriously, let's just take a second to step away from your base, cookie-cut hot takes to recognize that what we're viewing is actually a window into the brain of a pure genius.

James Rodriguez is not bad at soccer. In fact, he's not bad at all. Check this out:

Advertisement

Yeah. Right? Pretty good, huh? Well how do you think he got that way? The man obviously has a supernatural communication with the ball—that's how. He knows when the ball is dewy, he knows how to neutralize spin in 97 degree heat, as opposed to 98 degree heat—hell, he probably knows what any given ball's favorite ice cream and toppings are. So who's to say that he was not absolutely correct in stopping the game to make sure the ball gets what it needs?

Just look at his face. He isn't incredulous. He isn't angry. Time has stopped for this man, as he calmly recognizes that something is amiss in the universe. He could sense it. He wants to share it with the world—look as he offers it to an opposing player.

Nay, this is not a moment of stupidity on behalf of James. This is a gift that he has given us, like if Goya were to let you watch him mix his paint. You're welcome, world. You're welcome.

UPDATE:

And then James bestows upon us a goal. This is no coincidence. The ball problem was rectified, and James was able to score yet again. But a little too late. Real Madrid fell 3-2 against Sevilla. Maybe time to bust out your deflategate theories again.

Just as the clock hits the final minutes, @JamesRodriguez puts one back for @RealMadrid! #LaLiga https://t.co/CInFlmghC7
— beIN SPORTS USA (@beINSPORTSUSA) November 8, 2015