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Man Cracks Open 9-Year-Old Easter Egg, Unleashes Horrors

It turns out that really old eggs are actually very gross inside. Who knew?

by Alex Swerdloff
Apr 17 2017, 10:00pm

Screengrab via YouTube user Reddit McReddit

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

We're certain you will agree with this statement after viewing the now-viral offerings of one "Reddit McReddit." Last week, the anonymous YouTube user rocked society to its very core by revealing unto the world what happens when you crack open the ossified despair oval that is a nine-year-old Easter egg.

The description for the video—which was posted on April 12 and already has more than 1.3 million views—reads as follows: "My parents had some furniture in storage from mid-2008 until early 2017. Today we found an egg from our 2008 Easter-egg-hunt hiding behind the couch cushions..."

In the video, the foolish soul who posted the video can be seen prodding the mystery egg with a butter knife and stating, "Nine-year-old Easter egg. The inside has turned into a rubber ball," before shaking the egg, which sounds as if it contains something hard. Then the person takes a knife to the monstrosity, which violently explodes into a mess of Easter misery and existential darkness.

Somehow, the pastel-colored blue and pink egg appears to morph into something akin to a prehistoric frog or a mutant ninja turtle.

READ MORE: Surprise! A Kid Found Sweet, Sweet Meth in This Candy Egg

Thanks to the jerky camera work and the generalized revelry of the group viewing the egg-break (only heard, not seen), the short video raises more questions than it answers. For instance: Who loses an Easter egg in the cushions of a couch? A quarter, sure. But an Easter egg? For nine years? Do these people ever vacuum?

Then there's this question: What do you think the chances are that they had planned to transform the Easter egg into a century egg but never quite pulled it off?

Some commenters had questions of their own, including: "But how did it taste? " and "Who uses real eggs in an Easter egg hunt?"

According to those in the room, the most remarkable part of this episode, though, was the smell. "Oh, it stinks, it stinks," yells one of the participants.

READ MORE: Cleanse Your Aura with the Power of Eggs

This whole affair reminds us an awful lot of that classic Aboriginal folklore in which Brolga the dancing bird thrusted Dinewan the Emu's egg into the sky and thus created the sun. Is Reddit McReddit a modern Brolga? 

We'll probably have to wait until next Easter to find out for sure. Or better yet, start prepping your eggs now for Easter 2026. 

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