Behold the Noodlebot Army Now Assembling in China

A potential worker's dystopia is brewing in China's hospitality sector as a restaurateur by the name of Cui Runquan has been hawking thousands of his robotic Chef Cui noodle slicers. But while workers might not be happy about potential robo-replacements, patrons are pleased.

Now in their fourth iteration, the menacing looking "noodle bots" are, according to their creator, meant to fill the labor shortage caused by wage inflation and the vailability of better job opportunities for their frail, oxygen consuming human counterparts. In manufacturing, for example, wages in China are slated to surpass those of Mexico within five years, and the booming percentage of college graduates means that unskilled manual labor is no longer in limitless supply.

Slicing noodles is hard work. Runquan’s metallic creations require no rest, and are seemingly unburdened by human emotions such as love, jealousy and irrepressible hatred. Similarly kitschy models are also making appearances elsewhere in China, with one restaurant in Harbin deploying 18 different shiny models that whizz about via predetermined tracks to serve and amuse diners.

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"The robot chef can slice noodles better than human chefs," said Liu Maohu, noodle restaurant owner and mecca enthusiast. While it might cost him up to 30,000 RMB ($4,700) to support a human chef for a year, the mechanical replacement is a far cheaper alternative, and there are at this point no indications whatsoever that it would achieve sentience and silently attempt to kill him, and/or the restaurant's entire wait staff. "It is a great machine, and it is better than man," he said.

Coming in at about 2,000 U.S. dollars per unit, Chef Cui's bulbous yellow eyes flicker as it mercilessly swipes at mounds of noodle dough, not unlike the slicing motions of a deranged, blood lusting killer set loose upon a hapless fishing village.

Customers have been attracted to Maohu's noodle establishment due to the charming novelty of the worker robots, and by no means in a desperate, last ditch attempt to establish any weaknesses before they stage a mass revolt. "The noodles made by the robot are as good as the man-made ones," said one customer, blissfully unaware of the unlikely possibility for the machines to discover self-replication and massacre every living thing within reach.

3,000 Chef Cuis have been sold since entering mass production in March of this year. None have demonstrated aspirations beyond their assigned duties thus far.

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