Welcome to the world of Thanksgiving! In this episode of How-To, Matty Matheson shows us how to make a proper traditional Thanksgiving feast.
Did you know that the biggest problem in the world is that motherfuckers don't know how to cook a turkey? We're not gonna stuff the bird, as it increases cooking time and the stuffing comes out like a sponge. We're not gonna deep-fry the bird. We're not going to stuff a duck up its ass, and we're not even going to brine the turkey. What we are going to do is put some fresh herbs in the cavity and cover it in salt. That's it—it's that easy guys!
Obviously, no feast is complete without the fixin's, so Matty also shows us how to make casserole stuffing, cream-cheese mashed potatoes, maple syrup roasted carrots with pistachios, roasted Brussels sprouts with bacon, sweet potato and butternut squash mash, creamed corn, gravy, and cranberry sauce. You're welcome!
Fuck with that turkey, trolls! Thanks to Thanksgiving, world peace!