How Hot Pockets Saved a Man from the Deadly Ohio Plane Crash

The Hot Pocket occupies a strange place in American food culture.

They are the very embodiment of the high-calorie, low-brow microwave stoner food that fuels college students. As a result, Hot Pockets are forever ridiculed by comics, ironic Instagram chefs who plate them with the utmost care for presentation, and performance artist thieves who break into homes and steal only Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew.

Rarely do we hear a story about the microwave pastry being a force of good—or at least luck. But once in a while, the crispy outside and chewy, molten contents of the Hot Pocket are so irresistible that they create an impulse that can save lives.

That was the news out of Akron, Ohio earlier this week where Jason Bartley, who had been planning a trip to Miami on his computer, decided to duck out and get some microwaveable turnovers; a pizza Hot Pocket for dinner, and a breakfast Hot Pocket for the following morning.

Upon his return, Bartley's apartment, and everything in it, were engulfed in flames. His residence had been hit by the chartered ExecuFlight jet that, for reasons which still aren't entirely clear, lost control over a residential area moments before its scheduled landing at Akron Fulton International Airport and killed all nine passengers.

The extraordinary timing of Bartley's afternoon dinner and breakfast run at the local Dollar General was not lost on him, according to a report by local newspaper the Akron Beacon Journal.

The 38-year-old factory worker is obviously heartbroken about losing his apartment, "It was great. One of the best apartments I had ever had" he told the paper, but also had to deal with the existential implications of still being alive because he went out to buy Hot Pockets.

"Sometimes you get nauseous thinking about it," he told the Journal. "It's still even hard to comprehend." Bartley added that he was still in "a lot of shock," and that his emotions ranged from "very grateful" to "wanting to cry."

While many Hot Pocket-eaters might ask themselves "Why on Earth did I eat that Hot Pocket?", Jason Bartley is now confronted with an entirely different reality, more along the lines of "Why am I still alive because of Hot Pockets?" What if he had had more foresight during his last grocery run and bought more meals? Would he still be alive?

These are heavy questions and Bartley didn't hide the fact that these other possibilities were gnawing at him. "Anything could have went differently and I would have been … nobody's going to survive once it hit," he said to the local paper. "I would have never known what happened." Dark.

Hot Pockets aside, Jason Bartley, like all existential heroes, has ultimately embraced the absurdity of his experience and walked away with a sense of gratitude. "Everybody feels lucky," he concluded. "But you never feel this lucky."