Online Dating in Los Angeles Makes Me Miserable

To be fair, dating anywhere is miserable, but, there's something about living in LA that makes all of it so much more dreadful. The city is so spread out that rush hour dictates our lives more than our desire for sex does.

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Jan 28 2014, 5:20pm

Dating in Los Angeles makes me miserable. To be fair, dating anywhere is miserable, but, there's something about living in Los Angeles that makes all of it so much more dreadful. The city is so spread out that rush hour dictates our lives more than our desire for sex does. I'll admit that I’ve uttered the words, “he lives on the West Side! It'll never work out," on more than one occassion.  We have to drive everywhere, and it takes an eternity to get where you're going, so why go anywhere?

That's why online dating is perfect for the citizens of LA. You don't have to sit in traffic for two hours to try to find love. Dating apps like OkCupid and Tinder have made it possible for me to meet other singles while in bed eating pizza. No worrying about having to drive drunk or wasting money on an expensive cab. You can flirt and squirt in your pajamas. That's the most LA thing ever.

Nothing is perfect though, and believe it or not—online dating is not perfect. For every decent message I get from a seemingly well-adjusted person, there are 20 creepy, perverted, and sometimes just plain weird, messages from “people” with handles like "ButtSex69." It has gotten to a point where I am numb to reading messages that say, “will you kick me in the balls?” or  “I would love to cum on your tits." Will it all one day be worth it when I find “the one”? God, I hope so. 

Alison Stevenson is a writer/comedian who had the distinct pleasure of growing up in LA's San Fernando Valley. See her and other VICE west coast contributors at ENTITLEMENT; Wednesday, Februrary 5th, with headliner Greg Proops at Los Globos on Sunset Blvd. in Silver Lake.

@JustAboutGlad

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