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Sex

Would You Pleasure Yourself Orally if You Were Flexible Enough?

"It would scare me too much."

by Tyrone Curtis
Apr 19 2013, 3:16pm


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Self-cunninlingus/fellatio is a highly contentious topic. Bring it up at a party and people will look at you funny and potentially ask you to leave if they don't know you that well. I don't get invited to many parties anymore, but I can't shake the undying urge to ask people that question, so I took it to the streets and some strangers who'd I'd never see again.

London, would you pleasure yourself orally if you were flexible enough?

(For whatever reason, lots of people didn't want to have pictures of their faces next to text discussing whether they'd perform oral sex on themselves on the internet, so apologies for the fact that most of these pictures are of the back of heads.)


Gregory (left) and Hugo, students.

Gregory: In a hypothetical world? Yeah, I’d give it a try—at least once. I wouldn't want to lie on my deathbed regretting that one once I was all tight and inflexible. But I think I’d get bored pretty quick, to be honest.

What if it was enjoyable?
Hugo:
Nah, I think the once would be enough.

Just a token blowjob?
Gregory: Yeah, just to tick the box and say you’ve done it.


Michael (left) and Marcus, architects.

Marcus: No, probably not.

Why not?
Because it would just scare me too much.

You wouldn’t be able to look yourself in the mirror afterwards?
No, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the same way or eat a sandwich. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything actually, because I’d know where my tongue had been.

Really? Everyone else I've spoken to have said they would if they could.
Michael:
For real? Who else have you asked?
Marcus: I think girls would be more likely to do it. I guess it makes them feel better inside.

There's a novel new approach to psychology.


Marilyn (left) and Sharon, students.

Marilyn: Yeah, of course! I definitely, definitely would. My god.

How come?
Sharon: Is that even a question? Can't you work it out?
Marilyn: Because you know what you like, don't you? You know what feels good, and it’s difficult to let other people know exactly what you want. You can’t really say to a guy, "Do it like this," or, "You’re doing it wrong," you know? Although my boyfriend is very, very talented in cunnilingus.

Pedro, telemarketing: Fuck yeah! Of course I would. Who wouldn't?

I dunno, probably quite a few people. But yeah, you definitely sound very sure.
Well, of course I am. If you can do it, why wouldn't you? It would be amazing; wanking would take on a whole new form. 

So this would be a regular thing?
Well, I dunno—I'd have to see what it was like first, obviously. But yeah, why not?

Fair enough.

Previously - Is There Such a Thing As Society?