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Judge Defends Your Right to Drink While Watching Unicorn Masturbation

A movie theater in Utah has recouped damages after being shut down for serving Bud Light during a screening of 'Deadpool.'

Allie Conti

Allie Conti

Photo via Wikimedia Commons user Richie S 

In February 2016, three Salt Lake City police officers went deep undercover to late-night screening of Deadpool at a cinema called Brewvies and ordered a single Bud Light in a glass. Then they watched the titular superhero masturbate with a stuffed unicorn among many other atrocities breathlessly described in a report filed to the Utah State Bureau of Investigation.

Spoilers for Deadpool follow:

"As he rides on the back of a unicorn, he rubs its horn briefly until the horn shoots outs rainbows (simulating orgasm)," Bradley Bullock wrote. "The tail of the unicorn raises slowly as he rubs the horn simulating arousal until the horn shoots out rainbows."

It's illegal to pair booze and sexually explicit material under Utah state law, and the owners of Brewvies have been forbidden from showing Magic Mike and Ted 2 in the past. But this time they fired back against the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control with a lawsuit, and today a federal judge ruled in their favor on First Amendment grounds.

US District Court Judge David Nuffer wrote in his decision that the law was "overinclusive because it captures mainstream content" when applied to an R-rated film. He said Brewvies—which was fined for $1,000 and then suspended for ten days—was entitled to declaratory and injunctive relief.

If you want to read the reports of multiple cops in one of America's most conservative states describe the sexual escapades of a fictional antihero in painstaking detail, you can do so here.

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