Nudist Couple Can't Find Nude Servers to Work Their All-Nude Wedding

According to a survey conducted by wedding-planning website Hitched, last year the average cost of a wedding in the United Kingdom hit an all-time high of £32,273 ($40,305). That terrifyingly large number includes an estimated £5,221 ($6,508) to rent a venue, £1,166 ($1,453) for photography, and £5,920 ($7,393) for food and drinks for the reception.

A couple who are getting married in Berkshire, England in October haven't shared the receipts for what it'll cost to feed their 30 guests, but they're saving money by having the ceremony and the reception at the bride's family home. That's probably one reason why they're willing to pay £30 ($37.46) per hour to each of their four servers and two bartenders. The other reason is that those same six people are going to have to work buck-ass naked.

The couple-to-be are naturists who say that they "do not feel comfortable in the presence of clothed people," and they're frantically trying to find anyone who's willing to strip down and wield a cocktail shaker in front of a couple dozen strangers. (That's not a euphemism.) They've gotten so desperate that they sent a Help Wanted ad to Bark, a company that matches its customers with local pros who can provide any number of services. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like Berkshire has a big all-nude bartender scene. Or any all-nude bartender scene.

"To say finding staff who are happy to work naked has been tough is an understatement, we’ve been let down by three sets of people so far, with the last ones initially agreeing and then as the day nears pulling out at the last minute," the almost-groom wrote. "It’s an incredibly stressful situation when all we want is for our wedding be 100% authentic."

If there's anyone who will be in southeast England who wants to get naked and try to make it through the evening without spilling any hot beverages on themselves, they're encouraged to apply through Bark.com. "We’re not even bothered if they have waiting experience at this point, as long as they are professional and polite," the ad begs.

Here in the United States, there are an estimated 31,000 registered nudists. Carolyn Hawkins, the director of club relations for the American Association for Nude Recreation, told the New York Times that she has officiated at least 20 all-nude weddings during her career, including five last year. "The bride and groom are usually naked if they want to have a nude wedding, and sometimes they ask me to be. Sometimes I just wear a cover-up,” she said. “I do whatever they want me to do.”

Although that couple in England might be passing out their own appetizers and pouring their own Champagne toast, they've got one thing going for them: They didn't have to pay for a dress or a tux.