Last year, British supermarket Waitrose debuted a new chocolate Easter egg that looked like a halved avocado, complete with green chocolate 'flesh' and a giant cocoa powdered chocolate pit. The £8 chocolate egg became the fastest-selling Easter candy in the chain's 114-year history—and of course millennials were blamed for England's sad, fauxvocado-free store shelves.
"Enamored with avocado anything, millennials have now completely emptied Waitrose stores of their avocado-shaped Easter eggs," The Independent wrote after the eggs sold out for a second time, despite Waitrose's so-called "emergency" efforts to keep them in stock until Easter.
Waitrose brought the chocolate avocados back this Easter—because why wouldn't they?—and in addition to the original version, they also released miniature versions to go with it. "We know our customers love avocados, but we never realized quite how much until we launched our Chocolate Avocado last Easter," a Waitrose spokesperson said at the time, adding that the first run "sold out much quicker than expected."
And now the store is trying it again, dragging its chocolate avocados into the winter holiday season. too. The Christmas Avocado, as it's now called, has a dark chocolate shell, some latte-hued white chocolate flesh, and a gold-dusted pit. (Nothing about this says 'avocado,' unless your preferred avocado is one that has been scavenged from a fruit distributor's dumpster.) Each 250-gram (8.8-ounce) Christmas avocado retails for £9 ($11.70).
"A luxurious combination of caramel white chocolate and rich dark chocolate with a dusting of gold shimmer," Waitrose wrote on its website. "This golden chocolate avocado is almost too pretty to eat."
But according to the Daily Mail, even millennials may not want anything to do with this cursed half-pound of chocolate. The Mail quotes one social media critic who called the Christmavocado (or whatever) "hipster nonsense," several others who complained that it's not "traditional" enough, and another who worried that this could be the top of a slippery slope that will send us all plummeting to Christmas kale and quinoa. (And one gentleman just flat-out refused to participate in this crossover, writing "It says Christmas avocado [but] it is still an Easter egg.")
So basically, you're fucked, millennials: it's gonna be your fault if these things sell out, keeping a harried parent from buying a beige chocolate stocking stuffer, and it's gonna be your fault if Waitrose has to quietly put yellow stickers on these things before moving dozens of unsold chocolates to the reduced-price section. And, worst of all, it's gonna be your fault when Waitrose inevitably releases a red Valentine's version, too.