The Woman Determined to Be the First Trans Person to Sail the World Alone

A version of this story appears in the March issue of VICE magazine. Click HERE to subscribe.

This fall, under the moniker God's Wind 2017, Sabreena Lachlainn will set out in a 34-foot sailboat, to be carried around the world entirely alone, without stopping. Her interest in sailing began when she was a child, and has lasted throughout her life, but for many years she felt held back by her circumstances, uncertain if she has what it takes to sail. "Through the years I was just telling myself, that's not true; you're the only one stopping you from doing this," Lachlainn said.

The feat will take about seven months and, if she succeeds, Lachlainn will become to first transgender woman to accomplish it. Less than 100 people, she told me, have ever done it; meanwhile, she said, more than 500 have entered outer space. "I'm somebody who has hopes, who has dreams," Lachlainn said. She believes the journey will prove both to herself and the world that it is possible to achieve such dreams, even when people believe that who you are is itself a limitation.

"I had family tell me that I was going to ruin my life by doing this," Lachlainn said, referring not to her choice to sail around the world alone in a small boat, but to accept herself as a woman. Despite her family's fears, Lachlainn transitioned in order to prolong her life, not endanger it. "It was not who I was meant to be," she said, reflecting on the man that she had tried to live as for other people. Good men and women are taught to grind down the jarring corners of their identities in order to become productive citizens; many never venture into the depths of their identities. "It's on you to dig deep and find the means to survive," Lachlainn said. "When things get violent, and the boats get thrown around, and you're tossed around like a cork in a bottle—you find out who you are."

"Even in the calmest conditions, all it takes is a split second," Lachlainn said, knowing how easily she could die on this voyage. "Every second of every hour for seven months I have to be on guard." She will leave from Sydney, Australia, and not reach land until she returns there.

There are two areas of the ocean that are particularly risky. One, Lachlainn told me, is known as Point Nemo, a pole of inaccessibility, located in the South Pacific Sea. It is where NASA fells satellites and the mythological creature Cthulhu is said to dwell. If Lachlainn finds herself in trouble within Point Nemo, there will be no rescue. The other is the Indian Ocean, which Lachlainn describes as "one of the most unpredictable, dangerous bodies of water in the planet." She expects to sleep in 20-minutes sessions for the majority of her venture.

Many of us spend our lives confronting our true selves in short, painful intervals—if at all. Through her gender transition, Lachlainn confronted herself head on, not knowing what kind of life she would be able to have as a woman.

She found herself and yet, by setting out alone into the world's great oceans, she is letting it all go. "Every time I go out and come back, it feels like I've left a piece of myself out there," Lachlainn said.