This morning, to a chorus of anguished individuals tearing at their hair and gnashing their teeth, the tabloid Us Weekly announced that One Direction was splitting up for good. According to the report, the four remaining youths in the band have decided "not to renew their recording contract" after their tour ends in October. "The 1D thing just ran its course. They'll remain friends, but they are exhausted and want solo careers," said a source.
The band's fandom quickly progressed from depression ("I swear if this one direction rumour is true I will stab myself in the eye with a fork," "swear down if one direction have split im not going to school and im crying for the next year," etc.) to denial—which, it seems, turned out to be the appropriate response: A representative for the band told Gossip Cop that Us Weekly's allegation is "not true."
However, in this cold and capricious world, there's very little we can be sure of. This has been a very tumultuous year for the group: Zayn Malik, a man who is (arguably) scientifically hotter than Justin Bieber, quit the group in March; Louis Tomlinson impregnated someone; and Harry Styles's haircut came ever closer to gaining sentience. With so many complications popping up, how can we be assured that the band will remain united? We we turned to the only authorities we can really trust to honestly reveal the group's future: witches and astrologers.
Annabel Gat, Broadly staff astrologer, examines the group's star charts
In 2017, Saturn will square the position it was in at the time that One Direction formed. This will be a tense, make-it-or-break-it time for them, and a change in direction is definitely underway—whether or not they stay together. Even in in your own life, you'll see that seven years into something (the Saturn square) there is a huge shift. This is where the term the "seven year itch" comes from.
I'm not surprised that there are rumors and confusion around 1D during this time, considering that Mercury, the planet of communication, is retrograde over each member's natal Neptune, the planet of illusion and delusion. Pluto, the planet of death and rebirth, is also coming to their Neptune. In addition to ruling dreams and fantasy, Neptune also rules art and the kind of unreal superstardom they've enjoyed. I do think they are going in a different direction. (I guess there is more than one!) But keep in mind that Neptune doesn't abruptly end anything: It fades out into the mist. I think their group is going to slowly dissolve. I doubt there will be a day that 1D is over—it will just slowly morph into something else.
They all want to do their separate projects, and if they're successful they won't come back together.
Tracey Brown, pop culture psychic (@PopCulturePsyck), predicts the group's future
They're broken up! It's official. The way I'm getting it more than anything is that they all want to do their separate projects, and if they're successful they won't come back together. They say they're "taking a break," but it's a play on words. They'll come back together if none of them are successful. If one or two of them puts out a hit single, they're not coming back. They're being smart by not saying they're broken up—they could come back 18 months from now, if nothing works out. Remember, you're dealing with Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell's not dumb. He knows exactly how to play the media. These little boys, they do not get along. They want to break apart from each other.
Rachel Rabbit White, writer and witch, does a Tarot reading
(She pulls the Four of Coins, the Emperor, the Five of Swords, and the Ace of Wands.)
The Four of Coins is a card about making shrewd investments and holding onto what you've developed—it's about holding onto money and staying stable. Someone at the heart of this really doesn't want 1D to break up, but it is out of that someone's own greed and desire for monetary gain, or perhaps them simply wanting to keep up a certain lifestyle. This person could be one of the members of the band, though it's likely it could be a manager, producer, agent, or several other people who (like the man in the card) are all greedily trying to hold onto their coin.
Harry Styles is planning a solo career. It seems Styles has tapped into his inner Emperor.
The spread shows some harmony amongst the members, but a break-up seems imminent because the Emperor is about being your own boss. It's about authority, asserting dominance, and taking a leadership role. Yep: Harry Styles is planning a solo career. It seems Styles has tapped into his inner Emperor, a card that asks whether the empire he has built with 1D is something he wants to continue—or has it simply become a chore? The Emperor is a card that points to growth, adulthood, and change with a structured, organized plan. If Harry is starting a solo career, he's likely going to be somewhat conservative about it, so don't expect full-on Bieber antics. Sticking to the Emperor's love of structure and planning, he's probably also consulting with the best producers and image makers. So he might make some club bangers.
Five of Swords shows that the members aren't feuding—they know they've already lost. In the Five of Swords card, one smirking man stands with five swords as two losing battlers sulk away. If Styles has been fighting for a solo career, he's probably been very aggressive about it with management and maybe a bit of a diva. "Feud" probably isn't the right word for what's happened, because if the split is about Styles's solo career, it was clear from the beginning (to Styles at least) that he was always going to win. It's possible the other members just threw up their hands and walked away.
In the Ace of Wands card, a hand emerges from the sky to make a spiritual offer. This is a card about material gain as well as spiritual gain. Likely, the boys see their connection as one that was special and felt fated. If there is some resentment, it's only on the surface. The Ace of Wands is about tapping into a creative force. Deep down, they all probably want Harry to go for it and to see him succeed. (This is a card about taking a creative idea and making it into something sustainable. If Styles succeeds with a solo career, this could help other members of 1D in the long term.) Likely, all of the members have their own new endeavors—whether or not they are as spotlight-focused—which is exciting for everyone.