Meat News. The Only News That Matters.
Transglutaminase is generally associated with chicken nuggets, lunch loaf and lazy investigative journalism. That’s because in the past, it’s mostly been used for binding offcuts of meat into pseudo-edible tidbits that stupid people like to eat. But its popularity in the haute-cuisine scene is on the rise with chefs like Heston Blumenthal and Wylie Dufresne now using it to fuse bacon to cod medallions, create shrimp spaghetti, build meat sculptures or, in other words, wank onto plates in expensive restaurants. It’s not surprising people changed their minds about the unorthodox tool so quickly, we’ve happily been munching down meat-mâché for years. After all, cows don’t come in hotdog form.
If you think the only people who eat dolphins on purpose are creepy Asian billionaires with greasy lips, stringy moustaches and fat, bejeweled fingers, you’re wrong (but we forgive you that awesome mental image). Although Japan and China get the most criticism for their dorsal-finned diets, the greatest increase in dolphin consumption is in the third world. Over-fishing and reef damage has lead to declines in fish catches in West Africa, Asia and South America, forcing poorer communities to find new protein sources.
Martin Robards of the Wildlife Conservation Society of Alaska says, “this is essentially a bush meat problem,” with people simply eating what is available to them. And this also carries over to small business. At Angelo’s, one of Trinidad’s top tourist restaurants, $17US gets you a serving of Insalata Corleone, a popular dish of sautéed dolphin tossed in a crisp salad of lettuce, cucumber, apples and walnuts. Classy.
Companies have been launching meat infused soft drinks with little success for years, but it seems people are doing better with meat cocktails. The Circle Bar in New Orleans is famous for its Beefytini, a combination of Beefeater gin, vermouth and jerky brine. Brooklyn restaurant Porchetta is also down with adding animal flesh to alcohol, serving up a crackling rimmed pork margarita as a solution to their abundance of pig skin.
This is nothing new. Dating back to the 16th century, England's “Cock Ale” is a fragrant combination of elderly rooster sack, cherry, raisins, cloves and spices. Cheers!
HOT DOG HERO
As of last month, Australia has a new hot dog eating champion. Colin ‘The Conqueror” MacLaurin put away 10 hotdogs and their buns in 12 minutes. His reward: $100, bragging rights, and a colon full of pigs’ anuses. Although the achievement is beyond impressive, he’s still got a ways to go to match the US champ Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut’s world record of 62 dogs in 10 minutes.