This Totally Relatable Toronto Condo 'Sale' Is Giving Away Porsches and Rolexes

Remember a couple months ago when everyone got really mad about that developer placing a $5 million chandelier under a bridge in Vancouver?

A grotesque display of wealth in a city with one of the world’s least affordable housing markets is very Vancouver. In terms of a distraction, it’s about as effective as stevia in an organic cola.

Now the same douche canoe behind that glittering monstrosity, Westbank, is throwing a Lunar New Year Party at the Shangri-La Hotel in Toronto, with an opportunity to purchase condos in their new luxury development: King Toronto.

The best part is, if you purchase a condo worth around $2 million or more, you get to spin a wheel for a chance to win totally normal prizes like a Porsche or a Rolex.

Much lamer prizes include trips to Tokyo, Vancouver (a chance to ogle that chandelier, baby!), London, and Paris, an Apple shopping spree, and a Hermès Birkin Bag.

“For the first time a previously held back selection of homes in the West Mountain will be made available for sale priced from the $850,000s,” Westbank’s Lunar New Year invitation says. “Please bring chequebooks and photo ID to take advantage of this one-day sale.”

According to the Toronto Star, the cheapos buying $850,000 units won’t be eligible for any prizes. And you’ll have to spend around $8 million on a penthouse if you want a chance at the Porsche 911.

“It’s no different functionally from when a developer offers bonus commission or free maintenance fees or a car as an incentive, or when a store gives you a gift or gift card when you spend a certain dollar amount,” Michael Braun, Westbank’s director of sales and marketing, told the Star.

So relatable. Like when I buy three pairs of underwear at La Senza for $18 and get a fourth one free.

As for the development itself, King Toronto is set to “transform” the section of King Street between Spadina and Portland. It will have more than 500 units, including penthouses dubbed “The treehouse” and “La Bibliothèque,” and is slated for completion in summer 2023.

It will be comprised of four complexes known as “mountain peaks,” you know, because they’re going to mimic mountains. Ugh, how did this shit even get approved? Is there a petition we can sign?

If you make less than $70,000 a year, it’s hard to even afford rent in Toronto, so all of the above is probably completely out of reach.

But Westbank’s party is offering a free dim sum buffet. Maybe we should all crash it.

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.