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Boogie Cousins Explains "Titanic," And It's Everything You Hoped it Would Be

Someone decided to get New Orleans Pelicans center DeMarcus Cousins to give a synopsis of the 1997 James Cameron blockbuster. And it was a great idea.

by Liam Daniel Pierce
Nov 30 2017, 11:17pm

Screen capture via Twitter/@PelicansNBA

DeMarcus Cousins gets a really bad rap. Sure, if there weren't a per-game limit, the man could use technical fouls as a stat line for a triple-double. But he's just misunderstood. Like most bad boys, all he really wants to do is smash on some RomComs and analyze some plots, amirite?

(Or RomDrams, I guess? Unless Leo DiCaprio resting eternally in Davy Jones's Locker makes you chuckle.)

Point is, he must've gone off on a tangent about "Titanic" at a team practice or something—as bad boys are won't to do—and someone from the social media team's ears perked up. Because they got together and concocted this glorious video of Boogie laying down the basics of this eternal tale of love lost at sea.

Just peep it:

My favorite part is when Boogie says, "huge ship" because, you know, he's talking about "Titanic" and all. But that's just me. The clear fan favorite here is going to be how he not once, but twice refers to Jack as a player:

"It's about a rich girl, she's about to get married to the rich guy.... So there's another guy, who goes by the name of [whisper shouts, like he's Kate Winslet] Jack! Jack! So Jack, being the player that he was, he finessed the whole situation. He ended up bagging the girl named Rose—Rose is her name."

And then:

"Jack, being the player that he was, he let the lady Rose sit on the door, so she wouldn't be in the freezing cold water. Rose, she made Jack stay in the water! So Jack froze to death!"

I had a lot of difficulty not transcribing the whole thing for you people without headphones at work because the whole thing is just a delight. Anyway, I can't wait to tune in next week to see Ian Clark break down When Harry Met Sally.