Everyone entertained themselves on social media over the weekend by posting a picture of themselves in 2009 right beside a more recent snap to show how much they've changed (or haven't changed) since the tail-end of the last decade.
If Noel and Liam Gallagher were inclined to do that, then their 2009 snap would undoubtedly involve the words "Fuck" and "You" as one or the other stormed off. In August of that year, Oasis broke up, for real, for the last time, when Noel quit just before the band was scheduled to play at the Rock en Seine festival in Paris.
"It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight,” Noel posted on the Oasis website that night. “People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.”
And, if there were some way that you could get both Gallaghers in the same place today, things wouldn't be much better off. Despite the fact that a full decade has passed—and despite the fact that Oasis fans have been clamoring for a reunion since that night in Paris—the Gallaghers have continued to hate, deride, mock, and all-around loathe each other. ("Shame on [Noel]. I wonder where he is in the world," Liam told Radio X on the 10th anniversary of the band's split. "I bet he’s hiding in a cupboard somewhere in a really dark room.”)
In a recent interview with The Big Issue, Noel wouldn't completely rule out a reunion in the future "Well it could [happen]. Of course it could,” he said. “But there would have to be an extraordinary set of circumstances [...] I think I’ve seen him twice in 10 years and both times we nearly ended up in a fight for no reason. I can’t envisage the morning I wake up and think I’d like to spend two years on the road, arguing all around the world with Liam."
But in Noel's mind, the biggest sticking point to making that happen is all the time Liam spends chatting shit about him on Twitter. "[E]very tweet he sends out it's another nail in the coffin of that idea," he said. "If you think for one minute I am going to share a stage with you after what you’ve said you are fucking more of a moron than you look.”
Liam hasn't exactly held back on his @liamgallagher account. In the past decade, he's called his brother "a big mouth who considers himself a rock star," "a fat fuck," "SHITBAG," "a PRICK," "Mr. Kiss Arse," and he's repeatedly posted Noel's picture with variations on the caption "POTATO" –– and that's by no means an exhaustive list.
Shortly after Noel's interview went live, Liam went—where else?—back to Twitter to provide his commentary. "So news reaches me from a far [sic] that team NG are trying to get me shut down on twitter coz they don’t like my tweets did dums good luck you little fart c’mon you know," he wrote. "Trying to divide and conquer NEVER gonna happen mate you’ve blown it the people have got your number," he later added, before just writing "TWITTER RULES" in all-caps.
In his last-for-now tweet about Noel's comments, he described a moron as "the little 1 in Oasis with the big head and naff dress sense."
Yeah, that reunion seems about as unlikely as Liam logging out for good. As you were.