What Kind of Soup Did J.R. Smith Throw?

On Thursday, the Cleveland Cavaliers announced that the organization was suspending J.R. Smith one game for the nebulous and dreaded "detrimental conduct." Head coach Tyronn Lue was mum on what exactly took place, other than to say that "something happened," and that Smith would sit out Thursday night's game against the Philadelphia 76ers, but return to the lineup for Saturday's game against the Denver Nuggets.

Now, thanks to the crack reporting of ESPN's Brian Windhorst and Dave McMenamin, we know what that "something" was: J.R. Smith threw soup at an assistant coach.

Here's their wonderful lede sentence, just to prove I am not making it all up:

So many questions. Where did this happen? Is there usually soup in the locker room? What could have prompted J.R. to throw a bowl of soup at a person? Did he actually hit Jones with the soup, or was the assistant coach out of his range? Did anyone say something like "Who throws soup at a person?!" after J.R. threw the soup? Was it just shitty soup and Jones took the brunt of J.R.'s frustration? Lotta questions. But mostly we want to know: What kind of soup was it?

There's a lot of ways this could go. Was it a hot soup? Chances are it probably was, but some damage could have been mitigated if it were, say, a gazpacho. Assuming it was a hot soup, though, were we dealing with a more brothy soup like your traditional chicken noodle? Or was it like a creamy chowder (chowdah)?

It could have been a stew, or an Italian wedding soup, with chunks of meat flying everywhere, increasing the likelihood of collateral damage. Or maybe it was ramen, and J.R. got noodles all over the place. We need more answers and more reporting. I-Team, assemble.