Oh, I'm sorry, did you have other plans?
Photo by Vianney Le Caer/Invision/AP
It should go without saying at this point, but wax figurines are the stuff of nightmares. If you don't agree, may I direct you to the Hollywood Wax Museum, which features a lazy-eyed Tom Hanks from Castaway and not one but two wild-eyed Jack Blacks. Honestly, the only good thing about having a lifelike human statue made of wax and squirrel hair sitting around is if, in a pinch, you might need it to stand in for its living model.
But apparently Madame Tussauds wants to elevate the game and make its wax doppelgängers even more terrifying and humanlike. Just in time for Valentine's Day, the London museum will unveil a new Tom Hardy waxwork—complete with a beating heart and a "soft, warm torso."
It's not entirely clear if you're supposed to bring your own stethoscope to test the thing out or if Madame Tussauds will provide one for you, but the #TomHearty waxwork will be on display on February 14. Visitors can find him sprawled out on a red leather couch, and are encouraged to pose or "even cuddle" with the thing, according to Reuters. The museum even let a bunch of slobbery dogs crawl all over him, so it looks like anything goes.
If you're in London this month and you have absolutely nothing else to do on Valentine's Day, you can pay money to go to a museum and check out the lifeless waxwork's pulse. If not, you can always just watch the real Tom Hardy scream in terror in the new Venom trailer. Totally up to you.
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