The start of May is always an annoying time for Australians. The second worst people on Facebook spend all of May 4 posting “may the fourth be with you,” and the worst people do the same but with a devious picture of Star Trek’s Spock under the text. And then it’s the budget.As the real ragers know, this year’s budget is happening tomorrow and will be be delivered by the Treasurer Scott Morrison at 7:30 PM. And weirdly, we know very little about the budget's details because everyone in government has been as tight-lipped as literally every picture of Christopher Pyne. But here's some stuff we do know.
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Tax cuts
Why so generous?
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What are we spending our pocket money on this year?
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Oh, and there’s also a really important spend on a $50 million redevelopment of Botany Bay, which will include $3 million for a statue of Captain Cook, in what Morrison has called a “very inclusive project”. “Inclusive” here being a very natural and non-defensive word that in no way says: “yes, we know exactly what we’re doing here you fucking SJWs.” In the midst of a debate that has, culturally, effectively ended Australia Day, regardless of your own feelings about the holiday or date, this is an extraordinary priority for a federal government.On the other hand, $3 million to fan the flames of a culture war is actually a bit of a bargain, so props to them on their use of props.You know that thing when your doctor tells you have a tumor, but then says you don’t have a tumor, and he only told you that you had one so you’d know how great it feels to not have a tumor? Well, that’s what happened with Medicare. Also, I may need a new doctor.Scott Morrison has destroyed the proposed increase in the Medicare levy put forth by his predecessor (checks notes again) Scott Morrison. Calling his defeat of Scott Morrison “a win for all,” the triumphant Morrison said that the tax increase—designed to fund the National Disability Insurance Scheme—was no longer needed, because the NDIS could now be funded through other means.The short version? Maintaining the status quo counts as a win. Which would be a great re-election slogan for Turnbull. Somebody tweet him.AHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA HA HAHA HAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA AH AH AH AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHA HA HAHAHAHAH HAHHHHHAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAAHHAAHAHAAAAAAA HAHAAAA AHAHAAHAHAAAAAHAAAFollow Lee on Twitter