Ray J is a man of many talents. He's a singer, an e-scooter mogul, and a viral marketing guru, among other things—but amid all that, the guy still has time to be a dedicated, loving pet owner. Ray J and his wife, Princess Love, have a three-year-old Maltese named Boogotti, and they love that thing so much that the dog even gets his own seat on private jets.
But last week, the worst happened. Boogotti went missing, TMZ reports—and Ray J is convinced that some evil dog thieves are behind it, apparently. Ray J told the tabloid he thinks some teenage punk in a Dodge snatched Boogotti out from in front of Ray J's parents' house in Calabasas and then quickly sped off to whatever dognapping lair the guy came from.
"My dog went from being lost, to stolen, to kidnapped," he told TMZ. "Please help me find my dog. It was taken in a Dodge Charger. It was a young white kid—I think he was around 19 or 20. If that kid is listening, please be a hero and bring my dog back."
It's unclear who the mysterious young dognapper is, or why he wanted Boogotti so bad. Is this some kind of Ingrid Goes West-type situation where he thinks Boogotti is the key to a lasting friendship with Ray J himself? Is the guy just trying to make some dog-fur coats? Whatever the reasoning, Ray J and Princess Love are offering a massive reward for Boogotti's safe return:
"If anybody knows about pets, it’s just like having a kid. It’s a part of the family and we’re just really worried about him," Ray J said. "Just please bring the dog back and we will give you whatever you need."
For the love of all that is holy, return Boogotti to his rightful owners at once, you dog-stealing monsters! If not for the money, do it for Boogotti himself. This dog is accustomed to a certain level of luxury. Stare into those pouting dog eyes and know that Boogotti deserves to live his best life—and that's a life that only Ray J can give him, you Dodge Charger-driving, economy-flying plebe. Please, we beg of you: Do what you know is right.
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.