Ew, I Saw My Parents Doing It!

I cried and was afraid of dad for months.

    Ellen: When I got my first job I rushed home to tell my parents all about my first day at work. I had never thought of them as sexual beings and was surprised to see them in action. It seemed kind of violent, but I guess I was just stunned. I remember the smell of their bedroom.   Lars Erik: Seeing my parents going at it scared the living shit out of me. I was very young and my mother had to comfort me for hours. I cried and was afraid of dad for months. I think he yelled at me when I opened the door to their room and that was probably what freaked me out, not the humping.
    Angela: I had the hots for all of mom’s boyfriends. She was really good looking and brought home lots of hunky men. There was rampaging at our house every week, and I loved it. They always brought presents for me and I didn’t mind them groping mom in the kitchen.     Pia: My father rented a sailboat. At night, you could hear everything, and me and my sister heard it all. Every night, sometimes for hours, boobs flapping. My sister didn’t understand what was going on, and was all curious and wanted to see for herself. I hated it so much. I hated both of them.   Ida: I’ve walked in on my mom having sex… I don’t know, about five times? The most embarrassing was when I was about 16. I had been out getting drunk with a few friends, and when we came home for food we could hear my mom through the front door. But to get to my room we had to pass the kitchen, it’s an open kitchen, and there was my mother, getting it on standing up in the kitchen. She just shouted “Move along! Move along!” to us and we ran into my room and freaked out. Me and my mom haven’t mentioned it since.
    Karl: I was about 14 and came home early from soccer practice. I saw my parents naked on the floor in the living room. Their room is on the other side of the entrance so they had to run, giggling and naked, past me. My parents have caught me three times as well. The first time it happened my girl took the entire bed cover and left me buck-naked on the bed. My mom just said, “Now we’re even.” The second time was no biggie, but the third time both my parents walked in on us. I’m still with that girl from the last incident.       Lotta: I was 16 when my dad saw me doing it. Me and my boyfriend were alone at my place. I was going on vacation the day after and we figured we ought to have as much sex as possible. My boy is going down on me when my dad suddenly opens the door. “I’ve bought…eeeerh,” is all he says before he sees me with my boyfriend’s head between my legs. My boyfriend snaps around and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I panicked, hid under my covers and didn’t come out until dad had gone to bed that night.   Tobias: For some reason I went home from school during lunch. It took my mom and her hairy man a couple of seconds to get a grip. I froze long enough for him to roll over and hide under the covers. I remember thinking my mom was pale and not as well groomed as the porn mag chicks I had checked out. That night my very liberated mother wanted to have a chat with me about how natural it is to “make love.” She didn’t realize it just made the whole thing worse. Now I had a name for what she’d been doing, she had been “making love” to a hairy man.    

Photos by Janna Gillen and Joel Rhodin