Last night, National Lampoon gave out awards to the idiots who type nonsense like, "Asking for a friend!" or "Cats!" or some form of, "Guys, I'm lonely!" into Twitter. It was undoubtedly the most boring and inconsequential award ceremony in the history of award ceremonies. Granted, some comics on Twitter are pretty great, but most are notoriously bad writers. You would think we should turn to actual writers and elbow-patched literary types for quality tweets, but it turns out most famous writers totally blow at Twitter. Salman Rushdie, Nathan Englander, and Chuck Palahniuk all poop out terribly boring bullshit tweets. I'm not even going to get into the babes here, but even the precious Twitter account of Joan Didion has been soiled by an anonymous retard.
I want to know who can make Twitter a place for genuinely twisted and real human thought. So, thanks to Vladimir, 46th Street's Boba Fettamine supplier, I spent the night culling some jewels from Twitter’s most interesting 140-character titans. Most of them are from today's independent lit scene, with some random ones mixed in there. Feels all around hopeful. Here they are. Get with them.
Previously - Brand New Lutz