Most Quebecois don’t know this but Denny’s used to be called Sambo’s. Motherfucking Sambo’s. America went nuts when they figured it out and banned them all; all but one. That is why the person in the passenger seat screamed "holy SHIT!" when we almost drove by it in Santa Barbara, California. We went inside and bought this. Check it out, it’s in the same font and everything. 2. HITLER PEZ
This is actually anti-racist and anti-the patriarchy. Every time you go to get a candy the fascist imperial sexism has to twist its head back and you take it out the throat. If that’s not fucking shit up and smashing the system what is? Zieg Heil my ass! 3. THIS BOOK
Just so you know. This is NOT a joke. Gary Brander is the guy who did The Howling. He is also the guy who wrote this 20-page mini murder mystery about a guy in a squirrel costume that killed a guy. What was he thinking? What is that squirrel thinking? 4. LEGODEATH.COM
Instead of working, Brian Frisk, Paul Cloutier and Josh Phillipson spend all their time making dead sculptures for legodeath.com. We had a hard time deciding which one to show you for this because Jesus being stabbed by that Roman guy is pretty good but the editors here pointed out that making fun of Jesus is played. Go there now and pay special attention to the "occupational hazards" section. 5. SEX PISTOLS RUSSIAN TEA DOLL
We picked this up in Prague and it was a bargain at $10 but why does the Sid one say "no drugs"? And why does he have the face of Tony Danza? That would be a good name for a hardcore band eh? The Face of Tony Danza. That would be cool if someone read this and started a band and they became so huge that people in Prague started making Russian Tea Dolls of them and then we wrote about it here—again! 6. SILVER COKE STRAW
The girl who brought this in was kind of bummed about it because she just got back from Betty Ford. She was kind of sighing when she pulled it out of the box like a burn victim handing you his little black book. She was all, "I won’t be needing this anymore." 7. BANANA SNAPPLE
Have you fucking tried this?! It is too much. After the first chug you’re like, "I could drink a THOUSAND of these" and then bang, it’s gone. And then the guy who is supposed to be doing the photographs for the Tidbits looks at you and is like, "dude." 8. WHISKEY FLAVORED CONDOMS
We got these in Glasgow and have no idea if they’re kidding or not. On the one hand it says "do not use while driving" which must be a joke but then, it was in a public bathroom and it is a normal functioning condom with all the normal condom stuff about it.
Those people are fucking insane. 9. CUNNILINGUS BELT BUCKLES
True eating a girl out isn’t really cheating but make sure you wash your forehead afterwards. Remember in The Unbearable Lightness of Being where Daniel Day-Lewis gets busted by Juliette Binoche because she smells pussy on his forehead? You have to wash your whole face.