Why Girls Go To The Bathroom Together

Photo by Linda Alfvegren

Mapei moved to Sweden when she was about 10 and ended up getting a total culture shock. Now she’s stuck halfway between being a serious adult and a happy-go-lucky Sesame Street kid. The result has turned her into a rapping rainbow with a sound like a New Yorker doing Miami bass, except with a baile funk melody. She likes to collaborate with a lot of different people all at the same time. So you have Mapei feat. Fat Nervous Guy, Mapei feat. The Club’s Pointer, Mapei feat. Some Disco Hippie Wearing A Wig, Mapei feat. ME! Oh yeah, and fuck being serious, because this music is so fun it makes you feel like you’re the number one all-star party kid, and you just can’t stop drooling because you didn’t even know music could actually be this sweet. Mapei is my dream girl. Vice: What do you and your girlfriends do when there aren’t any guys around? Mapei: If we’re hanging out at someone’s house we mostly talk and fart and stuff. Like, “Hey, there’s a booger in your nose,” or “Let’s watch TV.” What shows do you like? Dr. Phil, Maury, Batman, cartoons, stuff like that. But I like going out to clubs better. Most of the exciting stuff happens in the bathroom—bathrooms are made for girl bonding. Everyone is sharing make-up and passing lipsticks around. When I go to the ladies room with my friends we make silly faces and act crazy, and then when we go back out we’re normal again. It’s so cool because all girls act differently too. Like the R’n’B girls can go to the bathroom by themselves, but they might go with a friend if they’re drunk. And they’re really blunt too. Like, they’ll peek at your privates and say stuff like, “Did you get that rash from shaving or what?” Indie girls act cool, but they still need to go to the bathroom in pairs, and they’re really shy and stiff and need the water running when they pee, and if there isn’t a faucet then their friend needs to make a “shhhh” sound and stare at the wall because they’re scared about showing their privates. Oh, and then there are the evil girls, the ones that don’t have eyebrows so they draw them on by hand and they all look like witches and they go to the bathroom to mix their BYO booze. But ALL girls have to walk out from the toilet in front of each other and ask, “Is there a stain on my butt?” Right now Mapei is working on a video for her hit song “Video Vixen”. Go to www.myspace.com/mapei for more.