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Noisey

That's So Ravin': Vinyl Romance

"My question is: can I bone a famous DJ?"

by Ravin Samoan
Jul 5 2013, 9:45pm

Every music genre has its seedy underbelly, a world of unspoken tricks of the trade and a code that helps keep things alive (no matter how dirty and scandalous it may appear from the outside). Our That's So Ravin' columnists have been down… and around. Worldwide party purveyors and dancefloor makers offer up some party tips for ya, free of charge.

Dear Ravin,
I have a few crushes on somewhat well-known DJs and I really want to do it with them. But... I'm an up-and-coming DJ and I'm a girl and some of my friends think that will ruin my career. I kind of think it won't, since guy DJs get to do it with whoever they want all the time. My question is: can I bone a famous DJ? What if they're famous, but not, like… Diplo-level famous? How many DJs can I fuck before people think I'm a total slutbag?
Anonymous, Los Angeles

Dear Anonymous,
My advice is this: keep wanting to bone the other DJs. They can be tempting, it's true. Stare 'em down, lick your lips, and keep on just thinkin' 'bout it. As a female DJ your dancefloor is auto-filled with plenty of dudes out there scratchin' their chins, watching you and waiting for a slip-up. There are plenty of supporters out there too, make no mistake, but there are dudes that wish they were in your shoes and often assume that you sexed your way to the gig you worked hard to earn. There is a certain level of power that comes with the position (assuming you're good at it of course), and that power should be kept under lock and key when it comes to bangin' compadres in the same circle of work and play. Meaning: Don't piss where you eat.

Yes, there is a double standard for male and female DJs when it comes to bangin' who you want. It may be slowly eroding though, so hold tight to your chastity belt and go home with a fan, instead ;)

Dear Ravin,
I DJ out at some clubs here and there. I'm dating this girl who I like a lot but she keeps dropping hints that she wants me to teach her how to DJ and I just don't say anything. This is making it worse 'cuz now she brings it up like once a week at least. I don't really want to and it's weirding me out. How do I tell her "no" without making her sad?
Pierce, Rochester

Dear Pierce,
What's the big deal? Is it because you are afraid she might be better than you, perhaps one day superceding your skills, and taking away your gigs? Or is it because you think the only reason she's dating you is to get into Djing? If the answer to both of my questions for you is "no"' then what the eff? Just be nice, give her a lesson and show her a few basics. It's not something one can learn overnight anyway, and perhaps after one lesson she'll realize it, and decide it ain't her thang.

Got a burning question for Ravin? Email her with your thoughts, dilemmas, and all-out rants at ravin.samoan@vice.com