We Didn't Go To BronyPalooza So You Didn't Have To

Photo via Slayerdarkcross

Last weekend, over 8,000 My Little Pony superfans descended on the Baltimore Convention Center for the fifth annual BronyCon—a three-day celebration of magical friendship, glittery wigs, and a collective obsession with the cult animated TV show. Because the convention has grown exponentially over the last three years to include new members from both the cosplay universe and 4chan, an alarming percentage of the "Bronies" (a portmanteau of "bro" and "pony") were grown-ass men… lining up for autographs from 13-year-old voice actors.

BronyCon also included a full-on music festival called BronyPalooza where all Bronies, regardless of the color of their wigs, could raise their hooves up high and shake their flanks. Sadly, we didn't get to go. But our sources tell us there was plenty of trance, eurotrance, trancecore, ponytrance, happy happy hardcore, and at least nine dubstep remixes of the My Little Pony theme song. So using our imagination and a sprinkle of magic, we put together a playlist for BronyPalooza 2013. Here are THUMP's Brony Bangers:

What's sweeter than the sound of a My Little Pony laughing? How about My Little Pony laughter lifted into pummeling happy hardcore? The DJ had the whole place shuffling and stomping with this one.

Tails went flying when BronMau5 dropped this Skyrim remix. Wait for the dragonslaying synths that drop at 2:15.

We've been crunching the numbers and it's safe to say that hardstyle is the Next Big Thing to hit the US Brony community. Our Twitter friend M.E.S.H. points out that "Dutch acts have taken to calling themselves 'hard EDM' in preparation for full-scale U.S. takeover."

AHHHHHH!

I'm imaging what a Brony rapper would look like.

We're 90% sure that this happened.

This may very well be the BronyCon National Anthem. THROWBACK!!

Every Brony has their soft side.

Motherboard was lucky enough to go, check their photos out here.