The Astros will host the Kansas City Royals for Game 4 of their ALDS series very shortly and if you're driving to the game, do enjoy forking over four crisp Andrew Johnsons for the pleasure of parking your ridiculously oversized Ford F-150. That's right, the Astros are charging $80 for parking. That is a lot of fucking money for an otherwise useless rectangular parcel of concrete. We here at VICE Sports don't think you should spend $80 to rent empty space for three hours in Houston, so we're going to offer up some alternatives.
For just five dollars more, you can purchase pretty decent tickets to the game itself. On StubHub, seats in Field Box 131, down the right field line, are going for $85. Buy your ticket, walk your ass down to the game, laugh at all the suckers paying to park, and yell at them, "You coulda bought another ticket for that price!"
Or, buy five standing room only tickets. At $15 apiece, that gets you and four of your friends in for five dollars less than it costs to park your car. Walk, or drive and split the cost of parking up amongst yourselves and you're all set. Or cab it. Or hitchhike.
If you already have tickets, do either or both of these things, drive to the stadium, and sell the spare tickets to some chumps who probably paid $80 to park and offset the cost of your own parking. Or, if you're taking a cab, buy a couple SRO tickets and use that to offset the cost of the cab.
Finally, your last option could be to not buy a ticket, or pay for parking, and go down to the stadium and ask the Astros what the hell they are doing charging people the same price to park as they are for tickets to the event at which they intend to park. And then go watch the game at a bar with a pirated feed.