Delivering pizza in a car is dangerous enough.
From ending up in amateur porn to being robbed to being attacked by a gang of machete-wielding maniacs, there is no telling how a transaction will end for the brave, baseball-capped transporters of grease wheels.
Now, take away two wheels and the steel cage surrounding them, and you get an even higher risk of pizza-related peril; such is the fate of motorcycle pizza delivery drivers. If you were to go one step further and remove yet another more wheel from that already dubious equation, internet lulz would be pretty much guaranteed, right?
Exactly right. Turns out that another huge threat to pizza scooter drivers is an inflated sense of riding ability. Just take this recent example: a video showing a Domino's delivery guy attempting to pull a wheelie while hauling his precious cargo. Hey man, that's my pepperoni!
Predictably, the stunt doesn't end well for Pizza Knievel, who, despite keeping the bike on one wheel for a fairly impressive length of time, ends up losing his balance and crashing it into the pavement, forcing oncoming cars to slam on the brakes as onlookers laugh hysterically.
Domino's UK quickly went into damage control. "The safety of the public and of our colleagues is of paramount importance and this is clearly wholly unacceptable behavior," a spokeswoman told MUNCHIES. "We have launched an investigation to find the driver concerned and take appropriate action."
This is far from the first time that a Domino's scooter driver has been filmed while attempting to impress onlookers (only to fail and bail). On YouTube, you will find videos going back almost a decade documenting Domino's riders misappropriating company property in this manner.
Clearly, wheelies are a big part of the pizza-delivery-daredevil subculture, such as in this video of a young lad, apparently named "Dev," hanging out in a parking lot with his friends. Suburban boredom of this type is always a harbinger of internet hijinx, and it's not long before delivery boy Icarus flies too close to the pizza sun by popping a wheelie and promptly wiping out hard and being dragged by his steed. "Bollocks!"' he exclaims, upon landing on the ground. Bollocks, indeed.
But not all pizza wheelies end in potentially fatal crashes, laughing onlookers, and presumably ruined pizza. Yet another video exists on YouTube of a Domino's motorcycle driver popping a wheelie for a good 30 seconds, through turns and all, only to land smoothly and continue on to his next destination.
This other Domino's delivery guy pulls off a pretty sick wheelie, too:
So does this guy:
So, what have we learned here? Well, mainly that despite being deemed "wholly unacceptable behavior" by Domino's at a corporate level, wheelies seem to be a big deal among some of the young men who make up its scooter fleet. Or maybe wheelies are just a thing for young men in general.
Either way, while Domino's continues to aim for the skies with unmanned pizza deliveries, it may have some more pressing issues to deal with on the ground.
This article originally appeared on MUNCHIES in September 2016.