Oh man ... what day is it? Where are you? Oh, you're in your bed—you're just rotated 90 degrees with your head hanging off the side of it, a puddle of saliva on the floor beneath you, your muddy boots leaving unfortunate smears all over your duvet cover, and only a vague, gray memories of how you got home. It's the Hangover from Hell, and you're at ground zero.
It's OK. We know that you can't venture any further than your kitchen—or, God forbid, leave the house. So we got our friends from Los Angeles's Eggslut to help us create the Holy Grail of all breakfast sandwiches, and it can be made with stuff that you probably already have in your pantry.
Got eggs? Bread? Something that could resemble breakfast meat? How about that can of SPAM that you've been saving for the zombie apocalypse? Good, it's time to break into that.
Got hot sauce? Butter? Mayo? You're basically there.
If you have the strength and wits about you to operate a stove, you could be sinking your teeth into the most miraculous sandwich creation that your lips have ever beheld in just minutes.
And if reading the recipe above just seems too hard given your skull-splitting headache, you can always watch the video.
And don't worry: We believe that you will get through this, and live to see another margarita.