I Failed High School and Everything Turned Out Okay

I remember the day I got my ATAR results. I felt so incredibly sick. The pressure I'd put on myself was phenomenal—I had to get a certain number or I thought I'd be in Very Big Trouble. Growing up as a kid of parents who'd immigrated to Australia, there was always pressure to succeed.

"I moved from Burma and didn't have the opportunities you have," my dad would say, lovingly, not realising I was crunching the numbers about every score I received in my final year. How could I make up the marks I dropped on that test? What was the minimum score I could get in my final exam and still get the score I needed?

Years later, I know I'm not the only one calling bullshit on the system. High school, and even more so final exams, doesn't have the power to make or break your life—it's simply one path into adulthood. With high school results released across Australia this week, VICE spoke with four people who went down a different trail.

VICE: You dropped out of high school and now you make wine. How did that happen?
Jordy Kay: I wanted to go to a Steiner school but I'm not from a wealthy family, my parents couldn't afford it. They sent me to a cheaper and more conservative high school, mainly to please my grandparents. I went through studies and struggled the whole time. The classes I enjoyed I did really good at, but the majority I felt like I was being oppressed or told to conform.

So you realised school wasn't working for you, how did you find out what you were actually interested in?
At 15, I got a job at a vineyard. I worked there over the school holidays and weekends… This guy saw that I took an interest in growing. He taught me about wine, including varieties and regions. It was really amazing, I was so lucky. At 15, I started doing tastings at the cellar door. At 17, I was helping out as a sommelier in the restaurant and working in the vineyard; managing to pay for a trip with my own money to go to Europe for a month. I cruised around by myself, went snowboarding and drank heaps of wine—it was an eye opening experience. When I got back from that, I was offered a job over on a vineyard at the Margaret River.

So you were only 17 years old when you left school for this job on the Margaret River. How did you break it to your parents?
I went home that night and told my dad. I remember saying, "I think I really like this thing—I don't want to go to high school anymore. I want to make wine for a job." Dad gave me the best advice ever. He said, "The world is the greatest university you'll ever experience." We kind of just left it at that. I dropped out and two weeks later packed my bags and took a one-way ticket to Western Australia.

What did it feel like to walk away from high school?
I remember calling up the school and telling them I wasn't coming in anymore. It was the greatest sense of relief I've ever had in my life. It was like I could finally be my own person. In school you're told constantly to dress a certain way, be a certain person—there are all these rules and you can't fully realise how special you are. The day I left, it was this weird realisation that I could be whoever I want today, and for the rest of my life.

Did dropping out and moving to WA turn out to be a good idea, or a terrible mistake?
I lived there for a few months on a vineyard and met a guy there who got me a job at a small organic winery over in Austria. So I lived in Austria up in the mountains, working at this 400-year-old winery. I was only 18 at this point. My friends were doing Year 12 and I was travelling the world, living in paradise, and farming. I started my own vineyard by myself at 23 and my own solo project, Chèvre by Jordy Kay… I bought my own vineyard in the Otway Ranges, which is where I live now… I [even] build my own little cabin. I get contacted by distributors around the world who want to import my wine but I currently don't have enough wine to sell overseas. It's crazy.

Do you have any advice you someone weighing up whether they should walk away from the formal education system?
The greatest thing about being a millennial is that you can have so many different careers and do anything, essentially. I think when you're younger, you don't dream of being someone, or something. It's kind of like you live in the moment. Being passionate and working hard, that's what's important. We feel so much exterior pressure, from our parents and older people, that we plan so much in advance for our lives but, fuck, I don't know what I'm doing next week. It's good sometimes to just take it as it comes. It's about following your gut feelings.

Does high school feel like ages ago?
It's funny to think back on. I'm from New Zealand and I was looking at my high school last night and it looks exactly the same on Google Maps. I haven't been back there in five years.

How did you fail high school in New Zealand?
I can blame a lot of factors but if I'm being 100 percent honest, it's because Grand Theft Auto III came out the week before my exams. I was just smashing it out on Playstation 2 that whole time.

Where did you go after high school ended?
I went to a place similar to RMIT in New Zealand… It was a bit wishy washy, they kind of let in whoever. When they saw I had good marks for [Year 11], they found this weird technicality… It was a complete bullshit class but they gave me a pass. It wasn't official but it was enough to get me there. From there, I was at uni for three years.

In hindsight, did failing high school ruin your life?
It could've if I'd failed [Year 11 too] or it could have fucked me around for a year. I definitely got lucky. No one really cared that I failed too, if I'm being honest. My whole family at that time moved to Australia, so I actually had to stay at a friends house to stay in the country to do the exams. My dad had moved for work, so my whole family went with him, and it was definitely not the best time to do end of year exams for my last year of school.

How did you go about getting a job after uni, did having "failed high school" on your resume affect your prospects?
I did a bit of work for the university, helping out with the ESL stuff, and creating illustrations… I remember I applied for heaps of jobs but didn't really get anywhere. I had a few interviews but didn't have a lot of luck. Then I just moved down to Melbourne from Brisbane, interned here at VICE with two other employees, got a bit of money from VICE, and freelanced for another company that made dodgy late night television ads doing After Effects.

Would you say experience is more important than study?
I think it depends on what your career is… If you want to be a lawyer then I don't think you're going to have a good time. But any job where they just look at your folio, it's fine. I mean, I just hired Ash, our new graphic designer, and I have no idea if she has a degree. I assume she does?

What advice would you give those who've failed high school?
Just do something you genuinely care about and are motivated to do. If you failed your exams—unless you really can't grasp things—you probably failed because you weren't motivated. If you find something you want to do and are motived to work towards, then you'll probably do really well in it.

Okay Xanthea, how did you fail your final year of high school?
I got an ATAR at around 60, it's hard to remember now. I went to a very small school in the country, so all the subjects that were on offer were mainly sciences, including chemistry and biology. There weren't many art subjects at all.

And you were more interested in making art than studying for those other subjects?
I found myself in my final year taking photos and posting them on Tumblr, so I didn't study for anything. I was definitely caught up in my blog. I failed mainly because I didn't care. I knew that I wasn't stupid—it was simply a matter of this doesn't interest me. I thought, since there's no passion, why should I waste my time doing it?

When you got your results back, how did you feel?
I was shocked. I remember logging in to the results website and seeing my score. I thought there'd been a mistake because it was so bad. But then, I reflected and knew, yeah, fair enough. I thought exams would be easier on the day or something, but because it's all weighted throughout the year, I thought my exams would pull me through—I was wrong and it reflected badly.

What did you do once Year 12 was over?
I moved to Brisbane, away from the small town I was from, but Brisbane was also small. I really didn't know what I wanted to do, I enrolled in uni a week before it was time to start. That was for teaching though and it didn't go anywhere. I'm still grateful that it got me out of Brisbane.

I guess that was a good learning experience. What do you do now?
Back in Brisbane, I realised I really liked interior design. I moved to Melbourne and am now studying at interior design at RMIT University. Even in Brisbane, when I first started doing interior design, it's so different to what I'm doing now. It went from being specialising in a lounge or room to installations—more of an art course. Stepping into what I love, it's something I never thought I'd be exposed to.

Do you have a goal now of what you'd like to do?
I'm looking to go into art installations, with things like runways and set designs. I love the intersection between fashion and interior design—it's so exciting. I feel it reflects the person you are and the people you're exposed to.

What would be your advice for dealing with failure, straight up?
I really think people find their way, even if they're 35 and have been working in something they're not set on. Just do whatever you need to do. As much as I hated teaching, I feel like I needed to do that to realise it's not for me. After high school and dropping out from university, I travelled Europe for four months and learned a lot about myself. I'm so passionate about challenging the limitations of school-based learning—I don't think anyone should feel dumb because they're not doing well at something tailored for the masses.

Okay Fareed, how did you fail high school?
I don't think I turned up for my final exam… I was never working towards anything. I was pretty absent at school, I didn't have my heart set on any specific score or university or goal for the future. I didn't really have any idea of what I wanted to do… I think a turning point was when I turned 12 and became aloof to school. I didn't see academia as a point of interest or something to pursue.

Do you think your parents were disappointed—did they put pressure on you to succeed academically?
Yeah, absolutely. My parents were immigrants at the time, so there was a cultural divide between me and my parents. The was a lack of conversation and pretty big cleavage between the two—there was a massive amount of pressure to succeed academically. My sister added to this expectation, she went quite well at school. She was that person who was the head girl of her class, who went straight to university, and got two degrees—she played into the expectations of my parents. Growing up, I was more concerned about fitting in culturally… rather than doing well at school. I'm Persian but was born in New Zealand.

So you failed high school but ended up in uni anyway. How did that happen?
I ended up doing my VCE pass so I could get into uni, but I later found out that I could have entered university as a mature-aged student. I went to CAE to get the certificate and when I did finally apply to university, I realised all I had was to apply a different way and supply a personal statement. I did my undergraduate in Arts and went on to do my postgraduate Masters in Literature.

What's it like being a mature-aged student?
Being a mature-aged student has its benefits. There are a lot of social things happening for younger people I feel can be distracting, and when I went into university I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had already done a lot of self-discovery, so there was never any doubt when I returned to academia… Being a mature-age student, you miss out on cultivating these connections when you're younger, which is what I mainly regret.

Would you encourage kids to step back and always know they can return to university?
Yes and no. In hindsight I wasted a lot of years, where I could have just got study over and done with. I worked in hospitality for all that time. However, I think once you know what you're doing and know yourself, you can think about education… I feel like I'm not in a position to give advice, but at the end of the day you can only do what's right for you.

Stressed about your results? Be kind to yourself.

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