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The Fat Jew is a large man with an afro like God’s pubes who is frequently found without pants. He has been a shining star in our stable of DOs and DON'Ts writers for nearly five years now, and is known around New York for giving homeless people Bikram yoga classes. Right now he is chained shirtless to the Instagram and Facebook offices at 43rd Street and Madison Avenue. The sequence of events that have led him to this act of civil disobedience are long and unfortunate and we won't get into all of them here. Suffice it to say his Instagram account, which has brought countless people laughter and frontal male nudity, has been suspended for the third time. To be fair, the first time it was taken down after Jew photoshopped a grown man's penis onto a baby, and he sort of saw that one coming. The next time, however, no clear reason was given, and when it was taken down for the third time, he didn't even receive a notice.
According to an email he sent us late last night, he will be "reading famous speeches about freedom over a megaphone" and has an intern, who will "spritz [him] with water when [he] gets hot." We'll be live-streaming the whole thing above until he gets arrested, but if you're in the area why not walk down and show him some support? Maybe rub his belly too. He likes that.
UPDATE: The Fat Jew's Instagram account has been reinstated after 15 minutes of protesting. He is now trying to get an explanation as to why it was suspended in the first place. Let freedom ring.