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Fuck Music

I remember being 16 or 17, sitting in my high school physics class, and staring at incomprehensible formulas on the chalkboard, when suddenly I confronted one of those decisive milestones. It's not like I discovered some new law or theory or anything...

I remember being 16 or 17, sitting in my high school physics class, and staring at incomprehensible formulas on the chalkboard, when suddenly I confronted one of those decisive milestones. It’s not like I discovered some new law or theory or anything even remotely scientific. I didn’t even get the right answer to a question. Way cooler. My physics teacher let the Greek letter µ dribble from his lips, “Mu,” and just like that I was changed forever. In less than a second, I had learned how to pronounce the prefix in µ-ziq, Mike Paradinas’ favored music-making moniker. On top of that, I also learned the suffix in Planet µ, Mike’s label, which drops crazy electronic music even faster than the 250+ BPM at which a lot of it travels.

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One of Planet µ’s most creative artists is Venetian Snares, real name Aaron Funk, who had an auspicious start as a musician. Funk agrees without hesitation, “One day I was just like, ‘Hey, y’know what? Deep down I am an IDM superstar.’ So I bought $50,000 worth of gear and made super dope tracks from the get-go.”

And it’s paid off. Not only is Funk about to release his second of three scheduled Venetian Snares full-lengths on Planet µ this year alone, but he is also working on a collaborative project with Hecate called *Nymphomatriarch*. It’s a simple concept: “Every track is made from the sounds of us fucking. I really do enjoy a healthy sex life.”

Last May, Planet µ released Venetian Snares’

Higgins Ultra Low Track Glue Funk Hits 1972-2006

. The name says it all. It’s about fifty minutes of melted-down post-jungle ball-breaking chunks that have been impenetrably glued together. Funk tries to explain what he’s doing with his music: “OG jungle was balls-out crazy. Then it gradually became a formula. I like to make shit that brings back that crack-rock feeling, like, ‘Holy fuck! I never felt that before! I think I just pissed on your sofa, man.’”

Fortunately, with Funk’s late-August release as the simple, elegant Vsnares, the bladder-control issue isn’t applicable. Keeping in line with his drug metaphors, for this record, titled

, Funk has kicked crack and moved to a balanced diet of meth and coke, which allows him to show off his skills as both genre-defying handyman and musical specialist.

Using any sound that crosses his path and turning it into an organized electronic shakedown, Funk promises that this record has everything. Glitchy IDM, death metal, hip hop, and even a track Funk describes as “Lee Perry forcing Stockhausen and Squarepusher to do it at gunpoint while giving them gasoline enemas.” This is a barrage of record-collection insanity that will make your neighbors go nuts and your boyfriend bust a nut all over your face.