We Asked Men What They Find Attractive on Tinder
"Most of the girls I've found only wanted to have sex with me and then never texted me back. Which is great, but I'm looking for something more."
Last week, we asked women all over Europe what gets them to swipe right. You should obviously read the whole thing but here's the tl;dr version: Look decent, hold a puppy in your profile pics, don't hold a puppy in your profile pics, and/or don't be an asshole.
This week, we asked a bunch of men from all over Europe to tell us how to make a good first Tinder impression on them.
WILL, 28, LONDON
VICE: What made you originally download Tinder?
Will: I wanted to meet girls! If I'm being perfectly honest, half of it is just to get quick dates and hookups and half of it to meet a potential girlfriend.
What's your biggest turn-off?
Girls who ask too many questions—when they're basically testing you, and it's almost like they're having you fill out a questionnaire. I prefer starting off with a fun, friendly chat.
What gets you to swipe right?
I like girls with dark, curly hair—and Mediterranean girls. I love pouty selfies. If a girl does a mirror selfie, she has to look in the camera and not in the mirror—that's a turn-off, actually. So I appreciate a sexy, seductive mirror selfie, but it's nice if she also has one outdoorsy shot, so I can see her in her entirety.
That's pretty specific. What kind of photos would make you swipe left?
This will make me sound terrible, but I really don't like goofy photos. I don't find it sexy at all when someone's looking silly. I remember this girl who had a picture of herself dressed up as a clown for Halloween, or something. She was doing this silly pose, and I'm sure she was really nice and cool, but I just don't think that's sexy. I'm a chilled out guy, and I definitely have silly photos, but I just wouldn't swipe right on Tinder.
What's the worst opening line?
"Hi" or "hey" are shit. And "ASL" ["Age, sex location"]. I mean—you already have all that information. I never know what to say to follow up on that.
AUDUN, 32, COPENHAGEN
VICE: Why do you use Tinder?
Audun: One of my mates told me about it, and Tinder feels like a natural way of dating for me. I'm not necessarily more serious on it, but it's not just about the hookups, either.
What do you look for on Tinder?
Well, I'm looking for a potential boyfriend. I usually go for guys who look a bit more masculine—not the overly flamboyant types. But aesthetically what I like varies. I like funny people, especially if their humor is self-deprecating. In order to consider someone for something more long-term, I need to feel physical attraction and he shouldn't be too high on himself.
How do you communicate?
I'm usually very forward—endless chat conversations bore me to no end.
Do you go on dates with a lot of people you match with?
No, I actually rarely go out on a Tinder date. I get a lot of matches, but it hardly ever turns into a date. But it comes and goes—things are kind of slow during the winter, but it heats up during the spring and summer.
ARISTIDE, 22, BARCELONA
VICE: What would you swipe right for?
Aristide: I don't have a type exactly, and I don't care about the pictures much because you can never really know what someone's like from them. So I swipe right a lot and then talk to whoever I match with.
When you talk to girls, what spikes your interest?
Well, I really like girls who are looking for something more than sex—nice, respectful girls with a strong personality.
Have you had any luck finding that kind of girl?
Not really, most of the girls I've found only wanted to have sex with me and that was it. That's fine with me if they're being honest about it, but some of them told me they were looking for more and then never texted me back after we hooked up. So I end up doing the same and using it to find something casual. It's great for that, but I'm looking for something more.
So would you say that Tinder works for you?
Yes, but only for quick sex.
DAAN, 25, AMSTERDAM
VICE: Why do you have Tinder?
Daan: Mostly because it's pretty funny. I got it when it just came out in the Netherlands, and there were only locals on it. You'd see all these people you knew. It's a bit more boring now, but I did make a lot of friends on there.
Do you use it often?
No, not really. Mostly when I'm in the loo, shitting and swiping.
Do you swipe based on the first picture only?
No, I usually look at the other pics as well. A lot of girls do the "Tinder surprise" thing—they only have pictures from the neck up, so you have to look at a few more photos before you can make any kind of decision. If it's a match, you need to take a good hard look at her Facebook page as well.
What are the biggest turn-offs?
I really can't stand pictures of girls hanging out with tigers or monkeys in Thailand or some other exotic location. And you know what kind of girl you're dealing with if her first picture is a bikini shot. When it comes to group pics, you always have to watch out for the cheerleader effect—a group of mediocre looking girls together can look pretty great, until you look at them all individually.
EMANUELE, 23, MILAN
VICE: How long have you been on Tinder?
Emanuele: I've been on Tinder for almost a year. I'm quite addicted—when I wake up in the morning I open the app almost automatically, and then I check it several times during the day.
What kind of pictures do you like?
I like genuine and clean guys—I hate posers. If you're all about showing your abs or making weird faces, I have no desire to get to know you better. But I'm also very picky when it comes to how people approach me.
So let's talk about the perfect approach.
The perfect approach is warm and friendly—but not overwhelmingly so. I also don't like guys who immediately get to the point. I need to have some kind of chemistry with a guy to want to meet him or have sex with him.
How many guys have met your standards so far?
I went out with six guys I met on Tinder, and those dates all went very well. I guess that's because when I agree to meet someone, I really see something in him.
MARVIN, 21, BERLIN
VICE: What are you looking for on Tinder?
Marvin: I'm usually looking for something casual, which has been working well so far. I just enjoy every moment, whatever happens. I chat with people a lot—sometimes that's interesting and sometimes not so much.
What will get you to swipe right?
It's Tinder, and I'm not expecting to find my soulmate there. So if I like the way she looks, I'll swipe right. If she has a lame faux-inspiring quote from some poet or philosopher in her bio, I'll swipe left. That's so impersonal and boring.
What was your worst chat on Tinder like?
It was kind of funny, actually. I messaged her, and she would only write back these very clipped, short replies—one or two words. That was so stupid—I have to be able to have a conversation with someone. So at some point, I just let it go and didn't get back to her—and that's when she asked for my number.
PETRUŢ, 21, BUCHAREST
VICE: Why do you have Tinder?
Petruț: Because I'm bored. I like the concept—you just directly contact the girls you like, and that makes hooking up easier.
So what are you looking for on Tinder?
I'm looking for my future wife. Ha, kidding. I'm looking for sex. It would be pathetic to try to find the love of your life on Tinder.
What kind of girls do you usually hook up with?
I used to swipe right on girls with whom I shared no interests or friends. But I quickly realized that you have to have something in common. Like this one time, there was a girl who liked the same independent political leader I liked. So I made a joke about politics that broke the ice and gave us something to talk about.
JESSY, 21, PARIS
VICE: What convinced you to get on Tinder?
Jessy: I just wanted to give it a go—I figured it would be easier to hook up with girls. I never really had any trouble meeting girls, but when you don't have enough money to go out in bars and clubs, it can be really helpful.
Do you care about what girls write in their bio?
I'm always curious to see how someone would describe themselves, but to be honest, I don't care all that much. I mostly look at the pictures. The thing is, a girl can always lie about her character—a photo never lies.
DJORDJE, 22, BELGRADE
VICE: How long have you been using Tinder?
Djordje: It's been almost a year, but I don't use it all the time. I'll uninstall it, and then I'll get bored and install it again, and when I'm done with it, I'll uninstall it again.
What kind of people on Tinder are the most annoying?
Foreigners who are in Belgrade for just one night. I'm not interested in that at all.
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