A Year of Lil Wayne: This T.I. and Lil Wayne Song Is the Greatest Action Movie of All Time

Let the credits roll on 'Mafia Speedboat Crime City.'
April 28, 2017, 8:06pm

Day 220: "FuckwithmeyouknowIgotit" feat. T.I. – Dedication 5 , 2013

I mean it's simple, you can't fuck with us

Opening credits roll as clouds roil over the Miami skyline. Names flash across the screen: Clifford Harris Jr., Dwayne Carter Jr., Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (no one knows if he is in the movie or they are just obligated to show his name). The title appears, in bold letters: Mafia Speedboat Crime City.

I got money on your head
I don't do my dirty work
I cut off my hands
I don't even touch the work
I pray these niggas don't fuck with me
And I don't like to cuss in church
And my girl pussy
Taste just like Ms. Butterworth's
I mean that
Believe that

The scene opens on Lil Wayne, seated in a church pew, wearing a suit, surrounded by his family and friends, also in suits, his wife Gwendolyn in a resplendent cream dress and fancy hat. The preacher is giving a sermon on sin. "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth," he intones, quoting from the book of Romans. The lighting is all blues shot through with flashes of white light spilling through the stained glass windows.

Juxtaposed with this scene, we also see a montage of criminal activity: In a dilapidated kitchen, masked goons wrap kilos of cocaine, while in the next room another group count stacks of money. Cut to an alley, where more guys in all black are kicking the shit out of some poor soul who we can infer has crossed Lil Wayne. The lighting palette is darker blues and grays. The scene cuts back and forth between these two worlds, and we are left to meditate on the nature of evil.

Don't be short with that work, nigga
We find out where your ho work, nigga
We follow your moms from church, nigga
You gon' have to swallow your pride like a thirst quencher
Get'em Tune
I don't really fuck around with certain niggas
Fuck all yall niggas, 'cept my niggas
These niggas hustling backwards
Check ya rear-view mirror and your side mirrors

Wayne receives a phone call in his office, which is full of mahogany paneling and rich forest green carpeting. A globe cast in all gold sits on the bookshelf behind him. The call is bad news: Wayne's connect Rico has double crossed him, and Wayne is going to have to deal with the situation personally. He hangs up the phone, sighing in resignation, then opens his desk drawer, pulls out a pair of leather gloves, puts them on, and then reveals a sleek pistol with a silencer.

Wayne heads out and hops in a red Lamborghini. In the ensuing series of scenes, we see him track down Rico, who pays a visit to his girlfriend, who is a real estate agent, and then his mother. As he heads, finally, to a nightclub to meet Wayne's rivals, Wayne pulls into the lane behind him, in quiet pursuit. Rico turns down a side street to find parking, and Wayne turns in pursuit. Rico gets out of his car, still oblivious, and Wayne appears, seemingly out of nowhere. He looks at Rico in disapproval then leaves the latter with one shot to his forehead, slumped over the hood of his car on the quiet residential street. Somewhere in the distance, a dog starts barking furiously, but otherwise the neighborhood appears entirely untroubled, serene.

OG kush keep my mind clearer
That chopper get yo mind right
I got two choppers that's chopsticks
Eat yo' block up like shrimp fried rice
Been so long since I seen my eyes white
You know I smoke like dry ice
Better stay in yo' lane or get sideswiped
It's going down, let me straighten up and fly right
Still can't turn a ho into a housewife
Man it's like some things'll never change
You ain't got a shot in a gun range
These chumps ain't even got chump change

Visibly reeling from the hit, Wayne flies across the MacArthur Causeway in his red Lamborghini, tossing his pistol into Biscayne Bay. He pulls up to the stately home of Rico's real estate agent girlfriend, who it turns out he knows. She is Ophelia, Wayne's mistress, and they quickly descend into the throes of passion before sharing a blunt, half-clothed on Ophelia's balcony. Wayne knows he may never see her again, but Ophelia is still blissfully unaware. The evening sun looks beautiful.

Uh yea, and don't fuck with me, you know I'm Gotti
Check yourself before I sign it
Yeah, I'm shinin' on these niggas, no horizon
Yeah, and it's goin' down if I'm her pilot
Uh, my new car is so robotic
My new bitch is so provided
Money talks, yours like 'no comment'
Black card, racial profiling
Rest in peace to Christopher Wallace
Desert Eagle like the Mojave
I get my work from Rico Suave, uh
It's a Rollie if I got time on my hand
You ever see me broke? Write on my cast
Boy my weed so good I cry when it's gone
Had a phone in jail, that's a cellphone

Long set of shots of Wayne driving absurdly expensive cars and smoking large cigars in the company of Gwendolyn and other beautiful women as he closes a variety of deals and maneuvers his way up through the Miami world of business, making his imprint not only upon its more criminal elements but also its respectable institutions. He attends at least one gala with the mayor present. He outbids a prominent real estate developer, making an enemy who could prove to be more dangerous even than his rivals in the underworld...

Yea, I'm 'bout to buy a machine gun
We drink it all, leave clean cups, make mountains look like speed bumps
I'm sittin' on some train tracks
Hopin' that bitch speed up
I'm strong-arming these niggas, roll my sleeves up, yeah
I got bad bitches on standby, all my hoes got cat eyes
Celebrate when a rat die, make a nigga fall back like he getting baptized
Put me in a hospital room, full of flat lines
I'm Tunechi the immortal
My name ringin', my name ringin', hello may I take yo order?
I say…

The rival drug dealers make a move on Ophelia, and Wayne arrives at her home to find it in disarray, furniture overturned. And then, there in the backyard, a body lies facedown in the pool, clouds of blood spilling outward. Wayne doesn't even need to look to see what's happened. He is overcome with grief, and then rage. He drives to the desolate promontory where he and Ophelia and Rico used to come in simpler times. He is consumed by the futility of existence, but he also knows he must exact revenge. He pulls a duffle bag out of his Lambo, and it is revealed to be full of assault rifles. He suits up, ready to head to the rivals' compound.

Testarossa over testimony
Got so much shit built up you could smell it on me
Fuck all y'all niggas in Swahili, nigga
Ain't nothing free round here but Willy, nigga
AK-47, call it Mr. Biggs
All my niggas blood, fuck yo syringe
Chop his head off, put it in the fridge
Try not to mistake that shit for dinner

Murder. Mayhem. Wayne tears through the compound in a blind rage, laying his rivals to waste. He shoots down guard after guard. He takes out lieutenants in sprays of bullets. He reaches the archrival's chambers. Julio. Julio is a fan of ornamental machetes, which he keeps hung on his office walls. He has a massive AK with a drum magazine in his hands. His eyes are glued to the door, waiting for Wayne to come in, so he is caught by surprise when Wayne swings in via the balcony window, muay thai kicking the gun out of Julio's hands. Wayne pulls a machete down from the wall and uses it to decapitate the screaming rival drug lord, taking the head back to put in the fridge of his organization's private morgue, for some reason.


Hey let me introduce you nigga to America most
Every nigga round with me carry a tote
Sadity bitches like a nigga Tune on the low
They just be like ten and be doing the most
Okay, Tune in the jet flyin' over the boat
I'm on the way from the Panama, I got a few on the boat
What you niggas make a year; I could do with the blow

We meet T.I., Wayne's longtime friend and business associate from Atlanta, who has been off the map for years somewhere in Central or South America. It turns out T.I. has been negotiating new smuggling routes from Panama, and, even as Wayne has solidified his grip on the Miami drug business via his rage-fueled massacre of the rival organization, T.I. is ready with enormous amounts of new product to flood the market. As described, he arrives in Miami via speedboat, loaded down with cocaine. Wayne, who, as mentioned, has spent the previous years insinuating himself with local big wigs, has now placed key contacts inside the Coast Guard, and he personally escorts T.I.'s yacht to the port, where the product is distributed, allowing T.I. and Wayne to blossom into the kingpins they'd always dreamed of being.

You keep on playin with me, bet I'll put a few in you, ho
The fate of a fuck nigga, we soon to see
These niggas sweet as perfume to me
I mean really like cartoon to me
Ain't nobody fuckin with Tune and me
Hustle Gang, bang green, in God we trust
Young Money Cash Money, they down with us
I got a bitch who want yo bitch, you finna give the ho up
And don't buck shawty listen, you don't really know us
We a bust a nigga head, leave him layin for dead

T.I.'s arrival in town brings old rivals out of the woodwork, and T.I. and Wayne have their hands busy for the next few months keeping their grip on the city. Even as they're dodging attackers, it turns out that rival criminals aren't the only ones who have caught wind that T.I. is back in town...

I get caught with a banger, I'ma lay in the feds
In gen pop, nigga, every day in the feds
I was chillin' on the yard, really going hard
And these pussy niggas catchin' feelings over broads

Trying their hardest to bring down the T.I./Wayne organization, local detectives, led by the intrepid Agent Taylor, finally corner T.I. in what they presume to be a sting. But the drug shipment they'd hoped to intercept is already racing up the coast in the back of an 18-wheeler, and they can't find anything on T.I.—except a gun one of his lieutenants had thoughtlessly tucked in the back of his car's seat pocket. The feds, convinced they have emerged triumphant, manage to book T.I. on 18 months of jail time. Yet given his reputation, T.I. is a hero in prison. There's a montage of him playing sports and making the best of it, as Wayne stockpiles their assets in preparation for T.I.'s return. They'll be out of the game, so far from the drug world and so comfortably set up in the hotel business that they'll never have to worry about pressure from the law again. Wayne visits T.I. in prison, reassuring him that when he gets out everything will be taken care of.

King pussy nigga but I'm really like a god
A town nigga, Bankhead I'm about it
Everybody know to fuck with me 'cause I got it

Wayne meets T.I. at the exit to the prison, driving yet another insane sports car, a sky-blue Maserati. The old friends are overjoyed to see each other again, and they dap each other up, laughing, as they look at the grim, depressing prison facade. They hop in the car and drive off into the sunset, untouchable.

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