First thing's first: I am an Arsenal fan, born and bred. My family is from north London and all support Arsenal, as do the majority of my friends. But for crying out loud, guys, can't we just stop embarrassing ourselves for like five fucking minutes?I refer of course to the new Gunnerblog video, a Mesut Ozil version of Stormzy's 'Shut Up'. Or rather, a Mesut Ozil version of Stormzy freestyling over XTC's 'Functions On The Low', but whatever, I haven't got time to be a music nerd because I'm too fucking angry and embarrassed about this video.From the moment it starts, and the emcee is asked to state his name ("Mesut, innit") and then what he's doing today ("assisting, innit.") you just know it's going to be a new low for Arsenal fans across the globe. And these are the same Arsenal fans that made the Macarena into a song about Mertesacker; the same Arsenal fans that believed Welbeck could be the first £200m player; the same Arsenal fans *catches breath*, the same Arsenal fans that include Piers Morgan, Angry Claude, and that guy who says "don't talk about spend, talk about net spend" among their ranks.And after all these bone-crushing lows, these pitiful, bottom-of-the-barrel instances of human behavior (mainly from Piers Morgan, to be fair) that have somehow spawned from something as innocent as supporting a football team; after normal fans have had to endure the shame of baring the cross of all that in public – after all that, this video comes along and gives us another lashing of the now-bloodied cat-o-nine-tails.Another side note: I love Gunnerblog. I regularly enjoy his tweets and articles on Arsenal, and even found some of his earlier videos funny, like the one he did about Fabregas with 'Let it Go' from Frozen. 'Haha!' I thought, 'we really should let that go!' But this, this – this I cannot bear.You know that kind-of-already-iconic bit where Stormzy's crew in "Shut Up" all shout "BACK UP DANCER", in what is probably the most threatening way the word 'dancer' has ever been used? Yeah, they change that to "Luxury player." The emcee says stuff like "Arsene's got our finances in order" and "I haven't got a fixed role, I move about." It's managed to condense everything that everyone hates about Arsenal fans into a pure, unadulterated three-minute and two seconds horrorshow.And please remember that Mesut Ozil is in no way affiliated with this production. It is just the work of yet another Arsenal fan doing what we do best: really fucking annoying shit on the internet.@williamwasteman
Advertisement