The Internet's Greatest Tyronn Lue Fan Page and the Joys of NBA Angelfire
Basketball Internet is a wonder in 2015. But Basketball Internet v. 0.0, circa 2002, was also great. It also deeply, weirdly, seriously loved Tyronn Lue.
Do you like sports? Do you like surfing the internet? Do you like surfing the internet to find sports content to engage with and share with your friends? Does the rate at which Internet sports content is created and destroyed frighten you, making you feel like being a self aware robot cursed to watch the births and deaths of many generations of its human companions, vanished, like tears in rain?
Well, good news: you can type "[anything] plus angelfire" into Google and commune with many of your favorite dead web companions!
For example, here is a website at which you can download all sorts of good NBA videos, like an 11 second video that the Vancouver Grizzlies used to play in their arena in the fourth quarter to get their fans hyped. Bonus: the video comes at a size that's conveniently very compatible with Windows Media Player. Shareef Abdur-Rahim shouting "Get hyped!" at you from your computer is great way to improve productivity in the workplace.
Or, here is a website where you can learn from a person who seems completely unhinged about all the ways that the Chicago Cubs suck. (WARNING: TAKES ARE VERY HOT)
And then, finally, we have this fun website created by a person named Salla Claret, where, well...
It's a truism on the web that the sexual objectification of Tyronn Lue always makes for good content. But add in a crowdsourcing element, and it's safe to say that this veteran website still offers the best Tyronn Lue content found anywhere on the Internet. Unfortunately, neither the "Vote" or "Current results" lead to active links.
Like Tyronn Lue, Claret was always working, always seeking ways to improve. Or at least that was the case until March 4, 2002...
...which was the moment when Claret concluded that the site was now perfect.
My excitement to explore a Tyronn Lue forum and take a Tyronn Lue quiz was surpassed only by the disappointment when both, again, led to dead links. The highs and lows of content engagement, right there.
But don't think that Claret's work is all just Angelfire razzmatazz and dead links. Salla's Tyronn Lue photo gallery is alive and well.
Here's a shot from the series "College Days":
Did you know Tyronn Lue went to Nebraska? I didn't! Thanks Salla!
From "Laker Days":
I might have gone with a different choice as the first image in this series. But as renowned war photographer Robert Capa once said, "The truth is the best picture, the best propaganda." You're an unbiased witness to the horrible acts that human beings commit against one another, Salla! And I respect you for it!
From "Wizards Days":
When you choose to vote that you love "Everything" about Tyronn Lue in Salla's weekly poll, Salla demands that you love everything about Tyronn Lue, even when he's slightly out of focus in a photograph of a soft-bodied Michael Jordan finishing at the rim in a random Wizards practice. Love isn't just all candle-lit dinners and bench minutes against an overmatched Philadelphia 76ers team.
Then, lastly, Salla has curated a selection from the highly celebrated and influential series among those in the Tyronn Lue photography community, titled, "Hanging Out":
That's Tyronn Lue planning a sneak attack on a bouncy castle, set on a backdrop of spinning basketballs! Salla, you are an artist!
Now, let's wrap it up with some thoughts from the "Quotes" section:
Kim Miller is Tyronn Lue's mother, btw.
"Chauncy Billups Close Friend of Tyronn"
That may be true, but clearly, Salla Claret is the closest friend of Tyronn, and fond enough of Tyronn that we ought to at least entertain the possibility that Salla Claret is Tyronn Lue. At any rate, Salla Claret understood something about Tyronn Lue that few people ever have. This website, even and maybe especially today, is proof.