​The Hottest FuccBaes of HARD Summer 2015

All photos by Jazper Abellera

This weekend's HARD Summer was a slay lowkey. Between going into debt spending all my money on overpriced Coor Lights, and thotting around to every act hitting my nae nae, I did like I do at every festival and entertained my fetish for the ideal male, AKA the legendary Raver-Bro-Fuccboi hybrid.

There is truly no better place to linger this supreme breed of human being than at an electronic music fest, where, in the flesh, they exist in their best form: shirtless, boasting their perfectly skinny buff bodies, and in some sort of corny #Been #Trill looking ass gear from PacSun, all the while raving, happy and carefree. It's charming AF. Any other type of fuccboi would be dragged on the Internet, and catch me some flack, but the PLUR aspect of raving goes a long way to subvert the typical insufferable elitist fuccboi attitude none of us can stand. Since Brodinski and Young Thug couldn't make it to the fest (SMH), these fuccbois are my baes. They are FuccBaes. See who made the cut and follow them on Insta.

The most common type of FuccBae you will see. Trained bodies from doing water polo and lacrosse since birth. Typically rolling deep to the fest with their whole frat squad, exhibiting true bromance, but still in collective search for their next EDM thot conquest. Will def give you a sip from their CamelBak in exchange for a hit of weed. Still wears American Eagle underwear and listens to Dillon Francis. Still down lowkey.

@tarikattalah, @jmadri23, @rholte96 and @keondadbeh

A version of the Classic FratBro FuccBae, on the right we have Zac Efron in his role as a struggle producer in the forthcoming EDM drama We Are Your Friends. His whole vibe reads *logs in to SoundCloud once* *thinks he can become a DJ* *goes to Goodwill once* *looks corny for a lifetime* He's giving me face thou.

@rianmcevoyy and @jimmyspatafore

There is nothing more obnoxious a fuccboi can do than to wear a fucking scarf on his hat/head, but these guys pull it off, especially with the bootleg Gucci. Still don't know what the purpose of this accessory is other than to be used as a hater shield, but wouldn't mind being gagged by it either. I seent your A$AP merch fam. Also, real fuccbois make trap calls in every picture.

@mr_baldassari, @lamborqhini and @jamesftw

AZNs BEEN EDM. This one has embraced the fuccboi aesthetic lowkey (see HeadScarf FuccBae), and is potentially in a gang, which I am ready to do unforgivable things to be jumped into. IF IT AIN'T FOREIGN, IT BORIN BOO!!!

@gydollasign

This is me with Luke, a hippie from Maine who I am currently dating. Dreadlocks and surf wear may not be your shtick, but what he lacks in fashion he makes up for in inner and outer beauty. Everyone needs a hippie to be their festival spiritual guide, safely getting you from stage to stage while burning a stick of Palo Santo to keep the vibes up heavy.

@koolhandluka

Blatino thug appeal is fire. I found an abundance of these fuccbois shmoneying their way to/from Rae Sremmurd, Mustard, and Fetty, swag on 100. Nothing hotter than a thug who can turn up as hard as he traps out. Fuck me with nothing but your bucket hat on.

@marcus_kansas, @matty__co and @bgdarulaa

I can't handle this list anymore. I don't even care if you're wearing the corniest neon stunna shades, tequila merch from a liquor store, or a plaid waist wrap around that I would rather die than have to see cuz that lightskin makes me wet. I'm gagging

@dmacg23, @cali_d909, @iownspencer

When you find bae outside the fest amidst all the peasant interns passing out rave flyers and he doesn't even want his pic taken bc he think he's hideous but his humility just makes you fall even more deeply in love with him. I guess he isn't even a FuccBae, just bae, period.

@ian_eldridge

Even though you're a fuccboi for kicking me offstage for getting too hyphy at Fetty, I will forgive you and you can punish me in your cop car cuffed with a wristband.

Jazper Abellera is an EDM power-dater. Find him on Tinder—I mean, Twitter