The opioid crisis is a public health issue that touches the lives of an immeasurable number of people in North America. Recently, I had the chance to attend the Gathering of the Juggalos with the vigilante drug-testing company Bunk Police in a state with one of the highest overdose death rates in the country, Ohio. At the Gathering, we found that the majority of attendees’ substances tested by the company came up as what they were presented as—with a notable exception of a fentanyl-laced cocaine finding on the last day of the festival.
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While shadowing Bunk Police, I had the chance to chat with some juggalos about how they’ve been personally affected by the opioid crisis. It’s important to note that opioids are a divisive issue in this community just as in others, carrying a heavy stigma. I even witnessed one juggalo exclaim, “Let them die!” while approaching Bunk Police’s booth, referring to people who use drugs and overdose.Amongst the noise of stigma, though, it’s important to listen to the voices of people who’ve been affected. Many juggalos are adamantly anti-heroin, but I also found many people who had direct experiences with opioids—from personal use, to losing loved ones, to growing up in areas hit hard by the crisis. Below, you’ll find excerpts from just a handful of these conversations:
In This Together
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“We actually found out two years ago Thanksgiving morning, I saw a Facebook post about one of our good friends,” Wendy, 29, said. “We literally saw him the day before… He had lost his mom a couple months before and was having a really hard time with it. We didn’t even know he was doing that much.”Terry recalled a time he relapsed and experienced an overdose. “I’m lucky I walked in the room… He was all blue,” Wendy said. “The only thing that saved my life, other than her picking my head up, was me being on suboxone,” Terry explained.Wendy said Terry being on suboxone is a relief since it can dull the effects of opioids if he relapses again. “I’m already afraid I’m going to lose him, so it gives me peace of mind,” she said.
A Dealer’s Perspective
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I think it’s awesome Bunk Police is here. Most of these people aren’t regular users. If this kind of thing was around more, there’d be less accidents and less people getting ripped off of their money. I’m not selling here, but I do back home, mainly opiates. I was looking into getting test kits online. With Bunk Police here, he helped me figure it out.I want to make sure my drugs are what I think they are. I don’t really want to get fentanyl, and if I do, I want to know so I can warn people. It’s not all about making money. I’m not trying to kill people.In some places, bigger cities, I get that people don’t care and are just there for the dollar. Honestly, if I’m trying to sell to you, I’m not trying to kill you. I want you to come back to me. That’s why I want to test my product, so I know. I want to know so I can warn people to be careful with it. — Snoopy*, 32
Crossing a Threshold, Loss, and Selling
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I don’t want to be doing this. I’m not having fun. But I literally can’t function without it: I puke, I shake. Until you’re there, you won’t understand. When I lose a friend, I feel guilty. Like what could you have done to help? But at the same time, I can’t even fucking help myself. What hurts me most is not how much I’ve damaged my own life, it’s my family’s life.I sell pills to support my addiction. I was drawn to opioids because of depression. At the beginning, you’ll be fucked up all day. I was happy, relaxed. I remember the first day I woke up withdrawing. I was at my buddy’s house and he said, “I told you. There’s no going back now.”There was a good while when I was selling so many pills, I was doing three, four grams of heroin a day. I could still help my mom out with bills, she was real tight on money. Yeah, I was spending $400 or $500 a day on drugs, but I was making like $700 a day. One of my biggest fears is if I sold something to someone and something horrible happened. That would hurt me. I’ve told people that I don’t want them to feel responsible if they sell me something that takes my life. That’s my own fault. But if the roles were reversed, I’d feel horrible. I’d rather it be me than someone else. I’ve lost so many people. You’re playing a numbers game. Someday it is going to be me.I looked down on it too before I was here. It’s a lack of understanding. No one made you stick a needle in your arm or put a straw in your nose. But at the same time, when you’re so looked down upon, you don’t want to ask for help when it gets to that point. And it’s too late anyway sometimes. —Ken*, 28
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