Food by VICE

This Carrie Underwood Cheese Sculpture Is Horrifying

"I’m speechless!!!" the singer wrote on Instagram.

by Bettina Makalintal
Jun 21 2019, 3:14pm

Photo by 4kodiak via iStock/Getty Images Plus; Mike Coppola/Getty Images for CMT

Carrie Underwood is objectively a conventionally attractive person: if you saw her face on a Barbie or winning a beauty pageant, it would just make sense. The country singer even looks beautiful while crying, as documented in both the song and music video "Cry Pretty," in which tears smudge her makeup into perfect, glittery streaks.

Unfortunately, none of that translated to the homage Underwood was presented before a concert in Wisconsin yesterday. Milwaukee's Fiserv Forum commissioned for Underwood a sculpture carved from 40 pounds of Wisconsin's finest cheese, OK! Magazine pointed out, but the results might make one wonder if America's Dairyland has been bearing a grudge.

The perfect ratio of Underwood's features has been dropped to the face's bottom half, giving the cheese sculpture something much larger than a fivehead, and the well-designed arch of her brows has been replaced by two things that look more like inverted cheese curls. The eyes are surrounded by so much streaky black makeup that they more immediately call to mind mid-2000s screamo than "Cry Pretty." If you saw the sculpture on its own, and ignored the words "The Cry Pretty 360 Tour" carved into the corner, you probably wouldn't know who it was supposed to be.

But still, whoever made this clearly tried, and Underwood seemed stoked to receive it—though the use of the hashtag "#WheresTheWine" in her response could be read in a slightly more passive-aggressive way. As the unsettling figures at Madame Tussaud's have proven over and over again, attempting to render a real person as a 3-D figure is a careful art that easily goes the direction of horror, and sculpting a person from cheddar surely isn't an easy task.

Would-be celebrity sculptors could perhaps borrow some words of caution from Underwood's own repertoire: Maybe next time they'll think before they cheese.