Nobody Needs This $35 Caviar-Topped Breakfast Sandwich

Please stop gentrifying the bacon, egg, and cheese.
July 23, 2019, 6:45pm
Beluga Bacon & Egg Muffin, Siberian Sturgeon Caviar from HUSO at Marky's on Madison
Photo courtesy Marky's on Madison

Buy it from a New York City bodega and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich will run no more than four or five bucks. The same goes for fast food and convenience joints across the country. Solid, straightforward, and pretty cheap, no wonder the humble "BEC" starts off so many mornings.

And yet, the BEC has been reinvented, because nothing is sacred and every food inevitably ends up a cursed, clicky amalgamation of things, born of some people's endless desires to show off their disposable income. Enter "the New B.E.C. (Beluga, Egg and Caviar)," a BEC that you're definitely not ordering to eat as you run to the subway or to scarf down in your car while stuck in traffic.

The "New B.E.C" is the brainchild of HŪSO, the "caviar bar experience" adjoining Marky's on Madison, the New York presence of a decades-old Florida caviar seller. Offering "the world's first-ever 'farm-to-spoon' caviar concept," the two are not for the light of funds, and neither is the New B.E.C.

According to the press release, beluga "bacon"—not actually A Thing—is made from Marky's American beluga sturgeon, a fish that's skinned and roasted "until it's rendered like pork belly." That fakin' bacon goes between what look like blini, followed by an egg and a dose of Siberian sturgeon caviar. It'll run you $35, and while that's kind of a steal for a menu where the "International Caviar Flight" is $640, it's also the same as at least a week's worth of legit BECs.

Should you prefer to make this at home, according to the press release, Marky's will also sell you 40 pounds of beluga sturgeon for "$400 a pop," but if you decide to buy one, it's between you and your conscience. (In the immortal words of Kourtney Kardashian, "Kim, there's people that are dying.")

Who needs this? Who knows? Would I eat it? Of course. Would it last no more than four full bites? Also, sadly, yes.