Crisis Capitalism: How to Use the Coronavirus Pandemic to Sell Your Product

American companies—from kids’ trampoline studios and virtual reality companies to bidet and 3D printer manufacturers—are taking to heart the old adage “never let a good crisis go to waste” by figuring out how they, too, can get in on the coronavirus frenzy.

Over the last several weeks, Motherboard reporters have gotten a truly mind-boggling number of coronavirus-related press releases that fall into one of four broad categories:

• Our event you have never heard of is canceled
• Buy our thing to protect yourself from the pandemic
• Here’s how we’re protecting the world from coronavirus
• What to do in quarantine (masturbate)

Taken together, I think we can learn a lot about crisis capitalism and the collective psyches of American small businesses/startups. This is not even close to an exhaustive list: