Men Love a Good Pee Gargler

Ever since I gargled my own urine I have been up to my neck in dick and balls. With so many love letters from so many cute boys, I realized it was selfish of me to keep this all to myself. I must share these tender words of romance with you, dear readers, in the hopes of giving you a taste of the joy that has inhabited me ever since my inbox was first flooded. (All of these heartwarming missives are sic, by the way.)

Adam

I'm 23 and pretty fat but fucking awesome. Any girl with the sack to clean her teeth with piss or cook up and eat her lady jizz would steal any sane mans heart in my opinion. If you live in LA lets meet up, hide in a public restroom, and gargle each others pee some day!!

Love,

your brand new admirer who found out that you existed about 25 minutes ago,

P.s. i only kinda want to kill you and sew your tits into 2 hats if we ever meet ;-)

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your honesty. I know sometimes it can be difficult for men to express their feelings as bravely as you just did, and with such eloquence, by God! It is my utmost desire that someday I will be lucky enough to participate in your invention of gelatinous headwear. 

Love,

Kara

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Ryan hi! you´re great. your t-shirt  u wearin for the "piss in my mouth" totally made me want u…i mean it. i want that t-shirt. not yours tho. i mean i´d take it but i can´t figure out how this will work. so just tell me pleeeaaase where i can get the t-shirt with the kitty chilling on the book besides the cup of tea.

Dear Ryan,

It is rare to find a man with both elegant taste and chivalry. In response to your question, I in fact acquired that particular garment during a luxurious excursion to Venice in my later teenage years. What a fresh-faced, virginal, young girl I was back then! Little did I know that someday I would be exchanging intimate details of my erotic life with complete strangers over the internet. This I find to be the most decadent luxury of all.

Yours truly,

Kara

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Bradley

I came across you urine drinking article when it was posted on tumblr, and after reading that, and a couple more of you articles, I can't help but wonder where you've been all of my life.  Well, yeah, Canada I suppose, which might explain why we've never crossed paths, being that I'm in Los Angeles.  Plus, my handlers keep a close eye on me, so I don't often get out.

Between your sarcasm, wit, intelligence, and the fact that you just might have ADD and be a little bit bent, you'd be just the kind of girl to take home to mom, and I like that.  But obviously, I don't like my mom, so it's very much a win/win.  But in spite of the fact that I walk my own path (although that path often ends at the electric fence), and I'm not opposed to interracial dating, or dating someone from Canada for that matter (To hell with the opinions of others!), you are there, and I am here, so I suppose that I shall just be content to follow your articles. I'll keep an eye out. Take care.

Dear Bradley,

Often times within my own life I feel that I am under restraint. Restrained from what? What freedom have I ever known not to be merely a deception!? In many ways, I am just as limited as you are. Although my physical reality is not met with the restrictions of electric fencing or “handlers,” as you call them, I can feel myself constantly grasping for air—desperately, wildly! To be unbound of such surveillances! That is a necessary impossibility, I’m afraid. So cruel is the natural world. Here’s to the astral plane.

Godspeed,

Kara

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Steve

for some strange reason i find you incredibly sexy and if ur ever in rochester ny i would love to rape you. so stop on by the home of the gods my city is lovely.

Dear Steve,

Submission, in all forms, is a woman’s duty—I need not remind you of that. But why the fuck would anyone ever want to go to Rochester, New York?

Regrettably,

Kara

If you haven't offered yourself up to Kara yet, you must have missed these:

Pee in My Mouth

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