We can go in a minute, I just gotta send in this report real quick. I thought I'd finish it before we left but then I got a call and the dog got sick and you know, I'd really just feel better while we're skiing if I just get this done now ok?
OK, OK. No rush. Just send it. Just send it. I've got like, five longreads I wanted to get into anyway. And I still need to catch up on Transparent.
Wait, is the internet down?
It's working for me, I just sent a Facebook message. And Transparent is loaded. Seems fine to me..oh..it's the offline dinosaur.
Did you hear about the Easter egg? Yeah, it's like, a game for people who are pissed that their internet went out. The dinosaur runs through the desert and you jump over cactuses and shit. Cactuses? Cacti? I call them what I want.
Have you checked the router? The light is on. The light is blue. Is the light always blue? I thought it was green. Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? Do I pull out the modem or do I pull out the router?
What do you need the internet for anyway? I thought we came to this goddamn mountain to get away from work.
I told you I could only relax if I finished this first. Seriously, like, it can't wait til Monday. It just can't. The wifi was fine when we came last year. Wasn't it? Look, I just have to send this. I just have to. Then the rest of the weekend. Unplugged.
Maybe I can tether my phone? Do you know how to tether? Well I'm getting close to hitting my data limit but I guess if it's just one email?
Oh fuck it, I'll just write the email on notepad and then bluetooth it to my phone and then you can email it.
That's like, not that hard. Then I won't need the internet, promise. We'll be OFF THE GRID.
It looks like I only have one bar and it says data roaming? Is that still a thing? Gmail won't load. Email failed. Email failed.
Seriously, the router says it's on the internet. I don't understand. Now the light is green. Is the internet down?
Oh wait, the page is kind of loading … oh it's that weird thing where it's all text. Fuck. Gateway error? What even is a gateway?
Hey wait did you try that Linksys network? Who leaves their wifi without a password anyway? I think you can pick it up if you balance the computer on the window? Or like, stand in the yard? Is that weird? I know it's cold out there, but just like, do it quick. Just go.
That's it, I'm going to that coffee shop. They have to have free wifi, right?
How'd it go?
Well now I'm officially a member of the Wilson County Library. Fucking coffee shop didn't have wifi but the good ol' PUBLIC LIBRARY had my back. Sorry I was gone so long. Had to lie about where I lived and it smells weird in there and they have a whole section of German books but their computers are still like, running Windows XP? Have you ever used Gmail in HTML only version? It's trippy as hell. But yeah, I sent it, we're good now. We're good.
Cool. Well, the internet came back and works perfectly now. We're back on the WORLD WIDE WEB. We are back. Wanna watch Transparent?
Ooh, yeah. One sec though, my boss just asked me to proofread something so let me check that real quick. You load it up. Seriously. Just a second.
Shit, it stopped loading. It stopped loading. It... I think I have a YouTube video cached? But it's actually the Beyonce video where she like, filmed herself with a selfie stick … but we can watch that. And I have some recipes and that Modern Farmer article about potatoes loaded up. We could read the first page of that.
Should I unplug the router? The light is blue again. I forget if that means it's working or not? Is it supposed to blink? Which cable are we supposed to unplug again?
Are you sure that Linksys network didn't work?