How to Hit on Women Who Love Sports

You learn a lot about people when you set up an online dating profile, especially if you're committed to being more or less honest on it. For example, my passion-slash-obsession with sports, especially San Francisco sports, is scrawled all over my OkCupid profile: There's a photo of me wearing a Ronnie Lott 49ers jersey, my self-summary clearly states I write about sports for a living, and I challenge prospective suitors to "sufficiently explain the infield fly rule in two sentences."

So much has been said about the garbage messages women on OkCupid receive, but the most irritating proposals I receive aren't about sex, but about sports. During my first week on the site, I had this lovely conversation:

For the record: No, I did not google that. I typed them words with my own lady fingers from my own sports-loving lady brain. If he was trying to be flirty by going all, "Ha ha you don't really know about sports!" it didn't work. But I sympathize with him—it's hard to send messages that are cute and winky without veering into creepy territory to someone you've never met before. Better luck next time, champ.

It got me thinking, though, about how often men misfire when they talk to women about sports, especially if the situation is one in which there's a potential for the two of them to eventually have sex. So I decided to give these beleaguered men some advice—not on how to get some pink-jerseyed lady into bed, but on how to talk to female sports fans without sounding like an utter ass.

1. Assume a woman knows as much as she claims.

Let's look at my pal above and how he could have thoughtfully engaged me about baseball. I would have been much more receptive (read: less defensive) had he said, "I don't think I can explain the infield fly rule in two sentences," instead of making a blanket statement and then getting condescending. If a women says she knows a lot about something—whether that's sports, literature, or financial planning—just believe her. Don't patronize her like you would a child. Wow Tyler, I bet you know a lot of facts about trucks!

2. Find a way around the "negging" technique.

I think this is supposed to be a compliment? "Most sports fans have pot bellies and look like they're seconds away from vomiting, so I'm pleasantly surprised at your appearance!" But how could a woman possibly respond to this? "Oh, yeah, I watch sports and also sometimes wear floral dresses. Pretty crazy, huh?" Rewording your sentiment so you're not some variation of "You're not as ugly as I thought you would be!" would result in far more interest from the many, many sports fans who do not look like Frank Gore.

3. Just talk about sports.

Look, I bleed orange and black and can think of no greater hell than dating a Dodgers fan. But I responded to this guy! He didn't talk down to me, didn't make jokes about female fans, he expressed interest in my interests—this is effective OkCupid-ing!

This sort of advice isn't limited to OkCupid. Whether its on the internet, in a bar, or at a stadium, female fans are routinely dismissed as being casual, uninformed observers who just want to see great butts or have been forced to watch sports by their boyfriends. (Butts are great, don't get me wrong.) The link between sports and masculinity goes back a long, long way, but we're not in the 1950s anymore. People can like odd combinations of things. Linebackers can get into rock, basketball players can enjoy abstract art, and women can get wrapped up in sports teams. Stop treating us like curiosities. We could teach you a lot about football if only you'd listen.

Lindsey Adler is hella into football and floral print dresses. Follow her on Twitter.