If the Fleshlight is a portal to our sexual future, then Fleshlight-based memes are a window to our perverse sense of humor. On the other side, there's a pudgy, Bavarian caterpillar from a kid's movie stuffed into a fuck-tube.
Austin-based artist Malek Lazri is selling a Fleshlight case with a silicone molded Heimlich from the 1998 Pixar movie A Bug's Life on Craigslist and eBay. Both posting prices are set at $2,000. So far the eBay listing has zero bids.
"This is it, the holy grail, one of 4 in existence," the Craigslist post, in the Austin, Texas collectibles for sale section, says. "Never publicly released only given to a select few high ranking Pixar executives for personal use. 100% satisfaction guaranteed very light wear, gently used, do NOT SLEEP on this one folks!!!"
This highly cursed item is arguably somewhat falsely advertised as it's not a properly functioning Fleshlight and is not actually fuckable since it doesn't have an opening—although I trust the enterprising buyer who ends up with this thing in their possession to find a way.
Lazri admitted to me that it's not actually a collector's item manufactured by Pixar, shockingly. He told me in a phone call that he got the idea from a meme that was circulating online a few months ago, of the adorable caterpillar as a screaming Fleshlight. "I just thought it would be so great to make that a reality, to make it in real life" he said. "I put my own little spin on it."
I came across Lazari's Heimlich after seeing it in a TikTok with more than 50,000 likes, so it's already going places:
To make his Heimlich, Lazari formed a clay mold, then filled it with silicone, then filled that mold again with the silicone that makes up the final product (similar to the process for making that Star Citizen dildo). He colored its face with permanent markers, "kind of like makeup," he said. The casing is a real Fleshlight case, painted to look like the cartoon caterpillar.
Lazri said that although no serious offers have come through in the month since it's been up, he's gotten a lot of inquiries, mostly from people like myself, wondering what is it and why he's done it.
I asked him if he's worried at all about Pixar asking him to cease and desist these shenanigans, and he said he wouldn't even be mad if Pixar came after him.
"I would love that," he said, "just to receive that email would be great."
I've reached out to Pixar for comment on their lovable caterpillar being turned into a real-life fuck toy, and will update if I hear back.