UPDATE: A reader named Josh Goldman sent me an email containing a link to what appears to be the very song in DJ Paul Ryan's livestream: A song called "Golden Skies" by Liam Aidan, which can be licensed for $40. Check it out here.
UPDATE: And in case it wasn't clear, this means that the song is not copyright-free or part of the commons, you ruffians.
House Speaker Paul Ryan might be the official saddest man in Washington, but today he's showing the internet another side of himself: the side where he's a lit ass DJ.
Ryan's streaming the snowy view from his balcony at the Capitol right now, and everybody is losing their everloving shit about the song that's looping over and over again on the stream. It sounds like some kind of lite chillwave jam, but nobody can tell exactly what it is.
Seriously, what is it?
What is this goddamn song?
Is it a stock muzak remake of Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing?"
If you play it backwards does it say the name and addresses of all the crisis actors Obama's hired?
Please, Shazam is giving us nothing.
If you know what it is, please tell us in an email. Until then, warm up to the grooving sounds of DJ House Speaker Paul Ryan, the greatest DJ Washington's ever seen.
UPDATE: Motherboard editor Sarah Jeong uploaded the track to YouTube so you can listen to it whenever you want—if it gets taken down, at least we'll know that it's a copyrighted track, and who owns the copyright.
She also uploaded the song to SoundCloud—SoundCloud sometimes restricts copyrighted content upon upload, so this means that the track might actually be in the commons. The mystery continues...