Kids, as the saying goes, are cruel (read: assholes). It's a universal truth that can't be denied, one that transcends both culture and country. That doesn't stop us from feeling pangs of guilt about that one thing we did, though. From tormenting trusting siblings to playing hideous jokes on the most vulnerable kid in class, we all harbor little secrets that haunt us well into adulthood. Here are some other people's.
In kindergarten, I put a pencil under this dude's butt, and he sat on it. I hadn't seen anyone get really hurt before, so when I put the pencil on the chair I waited for him to sit on it. He sat on it, the pencil broke, his ass was bleeding, he was crying, and I was like, "Fuuuck." I was trying to get him to stop crying by saying, "Don't worry about it! It was nothing! I didn't mean it!" I didn't realise at the time how bad it would be.
One night, a friend and I were throwing water bombs at cars because it was really fun when you'd hit them. But it got really bad, because we threw one at a guy on a motorbike and it flew in front of his face and made him skid across the road. We went and hid and started crying, and he came to the front door and was screaming at my mom, who had no idea what was going on. We were definitely idiots.
Watch: The Young Girls Whose Feet Never Touch the Ground
I was a really huge bully to my sister. One day on the train station we were fighting about her iPod. It wasn't even my iPod, but I really wanted to take it with me into the city—even though she was going further away. I was just really selfish and wanted it for my train ride. She wouldn't give it to me, so I snatched it from her and cracked her over the head with it.
I can still see the blood running down her face, and her crying. All these strangers came and got involved, and they took her to the office and bandaged her up while she was sobbing. I still feel fucking awful about it.I pulled her ponytail and punched her in the face a few times.
One time I peed in a mini water gun and sprayed the new kid with it. I remember it was around the time Jackass came out, and I was trying to be Johnny Knoxville and show off or whatever. He totally knew it was pee, and he just cried and cried. I instantly regretted doing it and felt horrible, and I even swore to him it wasn't pee for about six months. Then we never spoke about it again.
I tormented my grade six teacher so much that he had a mental breakdown. I was a pretty naughty kid, and I think one day he just snapped. He was sitting at his desk, staring straight ahead and not talking. People were waving their hands, saying his name in front of his face, and he couldn't respond. It was weird.
I actually emailed her last year and apologized.
When I was a kid I would throw sandwiches at people's bald heads. But I've got great hair now, so karma works in mysterious ways.
My younger brother and I would fight a lot. Often when we'd fight, he would run to his room and lock himself in, so I would go and find a few butcher knives in the kitchen, speed back to his room and run the knives under the door, saying that I was going to stab him. It sounds mental writing it down at 29 years old, but it seemed like a very normal thing to do at the time.
When I was in first grade, I was playing "Moms and Dads" with this girl called Amelia. She had a really squeaky voice that I couldn't stand and she always made me play the dad when I wanted to be the mom. So, one day when we were playing I pulled her ponytail and punched her in the face a few times. A preschool teacher found us, sent me to the principal's office, and I got suspended from school. I actually emailed her last year and apologized.
*Names have been changed