Well, that was… something. After eight years of death and boning, Game of Thrones has concluded with a severely broken finale titled The Iron Throne. All you can really do is laugh at this point, so, let’s do that!
Tyrion starts the episode with a nice long stroll, and then Daenerys holds a fascist rally with her remaining buddies. Side note: THIS many Dothraki survived the fight with the Night King after all?!
Eventually, Jon Snow realizes he’s stupid, and stabs his megalomaniac aunt/lover/queen/etc to death. Sad!
Later, a group of the most powerful nobles in Westeros meets to figure out Jon’s fate and the future of the realm. Remember those last eight seasons where nobody could get along and gaining the Iron Throne was worth death? Forget about all that! Everyone is working together now. We’re not explaining how this happened! It’s just time to catch up with some old friends.
Samwell makes a LOL pitch for Democracy.
And so, a new king is crowned—and it’s BRAN??!
Up in the Kingsguard tower, which I guess survived the dragon carnage, Brienne writes a few entries in her burn book.
Wrapping up, there’s a small council meeting that basically devolves into a sitcom.
Then we knock out a montage.
And now, our watch is ended. Just kidding—get ready for the spinoffs!
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow Peter Slattery on Twitter.